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Looks Like Someone Has a Sixpack of the Mondays

Take a break from the dog days of draft coverage and free agency bargains to answer some slightly off-the-wall Redskins questions.

Conor McGregor After-Fight Party And Wynn Nightlife Residency Debut, Encore Beach Club At Night In Wynn Las Vegas Photo by David Becker/Getty Images for Wynn Nightlife
  1. Every now and again, I like to try and use the Sixpack to go off the beaten path...just a little. In these rare instances (honestly, I don’t stray from the beaten path too often), my goal is to try and find ways to talk about the Redskins and being a Redskins fan that take us away from the heart of whatever discussion we are having at the moment. More importantly, when the discussion is getting a bit tired, or repetitive...or nonexistent, the goal is just to have some fun. We will have some fun announcements coming up regarding ways in which we are covering the team on Hogs Haven going forward, and those will be made in conjunction with The Audible on Tuesday nights. To help us get a fun conversation started that we can carry over into tomorrow night’s show (on Facebook Live at 9 PM), here are some screwball questions/topics that (mostly) don’t have right or wrong answers. (I keep a page notepad full of these for just such an occasion.) Take a break from draft coverage and the bargain basement shopping days of free agency and try to help me out with some fun responses.
  2. Pick one all-time great comedy (going for a movie here, and definitely looking for ALL-TIME greats...not just indie cult classics), and re-cast the top four characters with current Redskins.
  3. Which current Redskins player would have the best chance to run for national office and win? Why? (I am so glad this question comes after the Kirk Cousins Era. That answer would have been zero fun.) Remember...this guy has to appeal to a national audience!
  4. Conor McGregor is once again back in the news for being a bad boy. He loves the idea of crossing sports genres, so I ask you this: which current OR former Redskins player would you put in the ring for a 10-round boxing match with the Irish professional mixed martial artist? I understand that size matters, but for the purposes of this discussion, assume you can be a little bit flexible here. (Lots of possibilities here—do you put someone you hate in that ring to take a beating from Conor, or do you have a guy in mind who would whoop that ass?)
  5. Which member of the Redskins coaching staff would you hire to redesign your house? (I think I first used this question back in 2009 when Kevin and I would make sure we had three good questions to ask anyone we might meet in public. I had to change it from player to coach because everyone would ALWAYS say Clinton Portis.) This coaching staff has some real characters on it...and I’m not saying you should trust any of them to redesign your house, but if you had to...who? Why?
  6. Since I know Kevin and T are not going to overly thrilled to be going down this rabbit hole with me, I had to throw them one bone here so they will have at least one ready answer. The premise is simple: you have to field a starting five in basketball from the current Redskins roster. You have to take: one defensive lineman, one offensive lineman, one offensive skill player, one member of the secondary and one wild card. The wild card player has to be over the age of 27, and he has to have been drafted by the Redskins.