Five Years From Now: Five Future Redskins Predictions

This afternoon, we can chew on this question from SB Nation (that each team site is putting out a response to): what will the Redskins look like in five years? Here are five predictions for the Redskins, with a poll to follow asking which one you think is the most likely. As usual, my predictions tend to be rosy by nature, but I will be sure to include one scenario that doesn’t involve a Lombardi Trophy. I thought of exactly 1,459 predictions involving every single player and possible outcome, but tried to jump on a bunch of different broad topics. Here goes:

1. After becoming the first coach ever extended by Dan Snyder, Jay Gruden is extended again and given greater power in personnel decisions. He is regarded as one of the top two offensive coaches in the game.
2. Samaje Perine performs so well on his rookie contract that the Redskins decide to treat him differently than they treated Alfred Morris, extending the Oklahoma product and maintaining one of the NFC’s most stable running attacks.
3. Jamison Crowder, in the prime of his career, cements himself as a Ring of Honor player, thanks to seven years of strong performances. Averaging 80 receptions and 1,000 yards per year, Crowder finds himself among the top five all-time in both categories in franchise history.
4. The battle over where the Redskins will build their new stadium RAGES, with a fringe group of fans/investors pushing for a SECOND Washington team should Snyder put the new stadium all the way out by Dulles Airport or somewhere else far out in Virginia.
5. We all watch Kirk Cousins hoist a Lombardi Trophy wearing a San Francisco 49ers jersey, acting very Steve Young-esque in the postgame locker room celebration. I vomit on my basement floor.