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Looks Like Someone Has a Sixpack of the Mondays

The Washington Redskins fanbase will be testing the limits of their Romo-eroticism tonight as they watch the Dallas Cowboys take on the Detroit Lions.

NFL: Washington Redskins at Chicago Bears Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports
  1. On behalf of my family, and on behalf of the entire staff of writers, audio/video contributors, editors, masseurs, phrenologists, hot dog connoisseurs, circlejort experts and Pete Schwedde enthusiasts, I hope you are in the midst of an awesome holiday season.
  2. The season of giving continues tonight, as Redskins fans around the globe will be intently watching for a Detroit Lions loss. Notice I don’t/won’t say a Dallas Cowboys victory. Irony can be a bitch, can’t it? A scornful, nad-flicking, soul-deflating bitch.
  3. As a master hair-splitter, it is somewhat easy for me to separate rooting for one team to lose while simultaneously not rooting for the other team to win. I learned it in my youth, during the “Uncle Jesse vs. Uncle Joey” debacle that nearly divided our entire country in the late 90’s. The truth, as they say, will set you free, and the truth is that a Detroit loss tonight makes the Redskins/Giants tilt on New Year’s Day uber meaningful. That is the result we are focused on, and if it comes hand-in-hand with a win for the boys who decorate their helmets with star stickers, so be it.
  4. You want some good news? The Detroit Lions have to play either the first- or second-best team in the league tonight. That team has something to play for still, though it isn't a playoff berth or hoe field advantage (those are already locked up). No, the Dallas Cowboys have something else important to play for: momentum. When you boast a rookie running back and a rookie quarterback at the top of your roster, you can ill afford to take any days off. I liken the phenomenon (once again) to when Joey and Chandler discovered they were getting free porn on television. They lived in constant fear that if they changed the channel for one second, they would lose the gift they were given. Similarly, what is happening in Dallas is no less shockingly amazing. You just don't expect to see a rookie duo at QB/RB be this good so consistently. I have a feeling the Cowboys know this and will be looking to continue their run doing what they do, as opposed to changing too much up or resting too many people.
  5. That said, I have been making a prediction for the last couple months that bears repeating: if and when the Cowboys decide to rest Dak Prescott, they will be bringing in a player that is at least as good, if not better for the Redskins playoff chances. They will be bringing in a player that will be playing for a TON. Most importantly, they will be trotting in a backup quarterback that prevents them from resting ANY offensive linemen. When Tony Romo comes onto the field tonight for the Dallas Cowboys, the rest of the starters will turn it up a notch. They will do everything they can to protect him, and they will do everything them can to make him look good. That is no knock on Dak, as the entire Cowboys organization is hellbent on supporting Tony Romo is every way possible. For Redskins fans, the sight of a backup quarterback coming into the game in a contest we need would be a nightmare, but Romo presents a different scenario. When he comes into this game (my prediction is either after halftime or after a third quarter drive), the Dallas Cowboys will be given a shot in the arm. They will be desperate to make him look and feel good, for all of the reasons we have seen this year—you know...being a good teammate and all. Romo allows Jason Garrett to have a plan for Tony and stick to it almost regardless of score, because the coach knows what kind of player he is putting in and he knows that Romo would be a spark in a tight game and an assurance if the game is in hand. I have been criticized for my Romo-erotic tendencies leading up to this game, but I know you feel the same way I do: Tony Romo could be the top reason that the Redskins have something to play for next week.
  6. I have an idea about how to attack this week on Hogs Haven, and I enlist your support and assistance. Prior to the last game of the season, I like to begin the “taking stock” phase of the year. Regardless (irregardless, even) of whether or not a playoff spot is on the line next week, I believe it is important to dig into the season we have just witnessed and pull out all those things we know to be true. Then, I want to watch that last game in the light of those truths. It is my Redskins version of A Christmas Carol. Just as Ebeneezer Scrooge discovered that he didn’t miss Christmas when he woke up that morning, so to will we realize that we still have a chance to watch what I continue to believe is a franchise on the rise. There is so much for us to appreciate, and it is not that hard to weed through all those things that would distract us from the positive. I intend to start this process on The Audible tomorrow night, and continue it with #5OCC entries throughout the week. I very much appreciate all of you, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your families. Hail to the Redskins!