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Adam Archuleta To Call Redskins Games in 2015?

CBS announced its broadcast pairings/teams for the upcoming season. Redskins fans usually can tell right away who CBS will assign to their games--the worst ones.

Greg Fiume/Getty Images

As if debating about whether or not our head coach is deliberately trying to get our quarterback "destroyed" isn't bad enough...

Today, CBS announced its broadcasting teams for the upcoming season. There is, of course, the "A" team consisting of Jim Nantz and Phil Simms (and Tracy Wolfson). It is always possible that the Redskins could be in contention at some point late in the season that would cause this duo to do our game, but even getting the top pair would result in acrimony, as Phil Simms decided that our team name was offensive. Good news, everyone: his son is now on a CBS broadcasting tandem! (I am not sure where he stands on things.)

Here was the official announcement of the rest of the broadcasting teams:

  • Play-by-play commentator Ian Eagle, analyst Dan Fouts with sideline reporter Evan Washburn
  • Greg Gumbel and Trent Green with Jamie Erdahl
  • Kevin Harlan and Rich Gannon
  • Spero Dedes and Solomon Wilcots
  • Andrew Catalon and Steve Tasker and Steve Beuerlein
  • Tom McCarthy and Adam Archuleta
  • Brian Anderson and Chris Simms

Holy crap...don't even think for a second that we are going to successfully avoid getting the Tom McCarthy/Adam Archuleta tandem. That, my friends, is what they call DESTINY.

Step one: Make a guy the highest paid player EVER at his position, despite a questionable--at best--fit in our defensive scheme. (Shoup--is that being too nice?)

Step two: Despite having an insanely gorgeous wife (which shouldn't have mattered but did), watch as this player keeps a clean jersey on the sideline, and generally endures a miserable tenure in the burgundy and gold.

Step three: Watch as this player becomes a broadcaster and gets slated to provide commentary on the team's current shitshow on national television.

Frankly, I have to say I am a little bit excited for Archuleta to call Redskins games. Assuming he is terrible, as are most guys just getting underway in that business, the whole idea still has a little juice. We already get the terrible pairings anyway, regardless of network. I could swear that a pair of interns called one of the last games in 2014, but we will never know for sure because they never appeared on camera. At least with Adam in the booth, we can all be entertained listening to someone talk about our personal nightmare--who himself was a central figure in the nightmare!!!