Looks Like Someone Has a Sixpack of the Mondays

1. The Hogs Haven legal team has been working all night long to craft the following disclaimer for today's Sixpack:

"Ken Meringolo's opinions on Tim Tebow do not reflect those held by the majority of writers for or readers of Hogs Haven."

I am not sure why that took them all night...I am grossly overpaying for legal services. (To be fair, they really paid for themselves when I negotiated the contract for Pat White to be my starting flag football quarterback. Come to think of it, there was a similar disclaimer put out around that same time...with only two words changed.)

2. I am sure that many of you traded texts with your friends last night when you heard the news that the Philadelphia Eagles are set to sign Tim Tebow. I have to say that the predominant emotion on display from my friends was giddiness. Something about the Eagles bringing in this lightning rod of a player made a lot of people in Redskins Nation happy. I think that "something" is the fact that the circus is about to land in Philly with no end date currently scheduled.

3. If I am the head of the "Hard Knocks" today, I have to be wondering if there is finally a team more compelling to watch this summer than Cleveland. Sure, the return of Johnny Manziel from rehab is a huge story. The ownership in Cleveland (Jimmy Haslam) has been an...uhhhhhhh...distraction. Between illegal communication on gameday to coaches looking over their shoulders, pretty much the entire hierarchy of the front office there is a disaster right now. They lost a hot offensive coordinator in (I know... I know) Kyle Shanahan, and they lost --again--their top receiver to a suspension. I believe that this just scratches the surface of why the Browns would be must-watch TV. If this stuff iS the smoke, the fire must be GLORIOUS!! And yet...Tebow trumps all, doesn't it?

4. One thing is certain: Chip Kelly's tailor must run through a ton of crotch fabric. His moves this offseason were bold before he took the chance on Tebow. We're talking about the guy who decided that LeSean McCoy was not essential to his team's success. We're talking about the guy who is currently hitching his wagon to a horse that spends more time in knee surgery than in the pocket. Chip Kelly has given a giant middle finger to multiple commonly held principles/beliefs in this league which has attracted an insane spotlight on his operations. Signing Tim Tebow is the equivalent of Ron Burgundy's dog eating an entire wheel of cheese and pooping in the refrigerator. It's amazing.

5. The most interesting comment made last night came to me first from Kevin Ewoldt. He suggested the move was made in anticipation of the extra point going away. I am not solid on the process there, or how and when that kind of legislation will go down, but I immediately thought about that and shook both my head and my fist as I shouted, " chiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!" This is exactly what I used Tim Tebow for in Madden for a few years in my online dynasty league. Behind a couple of above average offensive linemen, Tebow was pretty much able to get me two points every time. He never fumbled, and he allowed me to keep my starter (shockingly and ironically Sam Bradford) on the sidelines and safe from these violent plays. Even if those rules don't shake out, Tebow has value in my opinion, and here is where I lose people. On one hand, I do find it odd that Tebow has found it so difficult to get a job in this league (John Beck was briefly our starter for God's sake). On the other hand, the scrutiny that organizations have had to endure because of the Tebow phenomenon/circus is a real problem for many teams in this league. The good news for Philly is that they already have a three-ring circus going under the big top. Adding in Tebow won't necessarily change that--it is just another attraction.

6. As much as I think Chip Kelly loves the spotlight and the attention, I also think he has made a move here that could pay off. The monetary investment is minimal in a player that, at age 27, has low tread and a TON to prove. The Eagles have no incumbent starter that will have microphones thrust into his face all summer about having to defend his job from Tebow. Few coaches believe in their ability to marry an individual skill set to his scheme like Chip Kelly does. Whether you think Tim Tebow deserves another shot or not, I feel like we all have to agree that he has strengths--maybe just one strength--that can impact a game. He is smart, athletic, insanely persistent and the man works as hard as anyone. Hard work is not going to get you to the Hall of Fame (or even keep you employed after you win a playoff game), but to suggest Tebow is incapable of adding value to a running game that just lost McCoy would be somewhat disingenuous. (It's not like people are banging down the door to trade for Matt Barkley, who would seem like Tebow's main competition for the third quarterback spot.) In terms of the physical demands Chip Kelly puts on his players, I feel like Tebow is going to be a perfect fit. He's like a robot. I can already envision Tebow entering the game when the Eagles are in close to the goal line. If you give him two tries from the five-yard line, I would suggest your probability of scoring a touchdown is pretty damned good. (Have we touched on the Riley Cooper connection yet?) I don't know how this is all going to pan out, but after speaking with Kevin, I couldn't help but assure him that no matter what Tebow does in Philly, one thing we know is certain: he will be inserted into a game at FedEx after Bradford is carted off in a stretcher and proceed to throw for 300 yards and five touchdowns. It might be the only action he ever sees.