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'Twas the Night Before Philly

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Hogs Haven gets ready for the biggest Redskins game of the season the only way it knows how...in rhyme.

'Twas the night before Philly, and all through D.C,

Ev'ry Skins fan was dreaming of "manifest destiny."

The NFC East was weak at the start of the year,

but Kirk Cousins has given teams reason to fear.

McLovin's worked magic on our ailing roster,

Who else would have signed and started Mason Foster?

The D-line has been strong--I'm so proud of Chris Baker,

And without moving an inch, Pot Roast covers an acre.

Don't get me started on Bashaud Breeland's snub,

The man is elite, and gives ih8 major chub.

HogHunter insists that the Eagles are shitty,

And SkinsNJ even looks down on that city.

(Which happens to mean something, didn't you know--

When it comes to ordure, Jersey is pro.)

DeSean Jackson has something for his old ball coach Chip;

his touchdowns are sure to make me nae nae and whip.

My dance moves are nothing next to those of Tom Garrett--

(I'm desperately trying not to use the word 'ferret').

Speaking of ferret, Kevin Ewoldt is back!

Married and settled, he has turned in his sac.

While I wish him the best with Lexi and life,

I still have to wonder: is he husband or wife?

Just kidding of course, on his side we stand firm...

I hope this is rec'd by scarlet_epiderm.

I'm trapped in this poem now, rambling with filler,

Praying that I don't draw the ire of Tiller.

Back to the game, and what I predict;

How could I forget to mention The District?

And Anthony Brown, and Rowsey and Frantz,

Bacaj, Dorsett and Shoup...they all blog with no pants.

The Audible podcast has so far impressed,

as T, Ken and Ricca drain bottles of Redbreast.

Seriously now, the Eagles are toast,

the Redskins clearly want the division the most.

McLovin has taken the Skins to new heights,

while dutifully sticking to cold cans of Bud Light.

Dan Snyder's patience this year is unprecedented,

on the matter of Griffin, he's nobly relented.

To Philly! Let's go get this division wrapped up.

I can't wait to watch the Eagles defense get slapped up.

But before we leave Philly and lay claim to our riches,

Let me say...

Merry Christmas to all...and YOU LIKE THAT bitches!!!!!

(I know I left out some important folks,

so I'll work to come up with more frivolous jokes

about commenters and authors whose words are so dear

to all those who generously spend their time here.)