Hating With H8: Carolina Panthers Edition

Look, Panthers "fans", I get it. You want respect. You want everyone to recognize your 9-0 record. You want so badly to be mentioned by Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith while you're in between marathon sessions of Call of Duty and Bagel Bites. And let's face it, that's what you're doing since most of you are about 19-years old and living with your parents somewhere outside of Matthews.

But you're never going to get the respect you so badly think you deserve. Face it, your fan base is made up people who weren't even really football fans in the first place. "Meh, the Cowboys kind of stink this year, so...#KEEPPOUNDING I guess." And you know it's true. Just look at this gem from Cat Scratch Reader:

Before the Carolina Panthers existed, the Carolinas were a split territory of NFL loyalties. Many people didn't have a team at all, as North Carolina was by and large considered college basketball country, while in South Carolina it was all about college football. Those that did identify with a team generally pick one of two teams. Those teams were the Washington Redskins in the North, and the Atlanta Falcons (gag) in the South.

The Panthers came about fairly early in my life, I was 13 years old, and I latched on immediately. But many people, to this day, consider themselves "A ____ fan first, and a Panthers fan second." In the case of the Redskins, this has turned people into full time Panthers fans, while still secretly hoping that some day the Redskins will turn it around.

Well in my opinion...

That is Bullshit.

If you're still harboring the Panthers as your 2nd team, and only rooting for them on the years they are better than your first squad (read: Now, and quite often over the past 3 seasons) then you need to drop one or the other. The Carolinas are no longer contested ground.

Always the bridesmaid and never the bride. Always trying to get out of the shadow of the Washington Redskins. Hell, it took a Redskin to get you guys to the Superbowl. You're welcome for Stephen Davis by the way.

Don't take it personally guys. It's not that people don't see that you're 9-0...it's that we just don't care. You're a more stable version of the Jacksonville Jaguars...but instead of meth and jorts you have Mountain Dew and Carhartt jackets.

You'll always be the "second team." You'll always be the sidepiece to some front-running Cowboys or Steelers fan. BofA Stadium will always be filled with the following:

1. BOFA DEEZ NUTS (of Washington Redskins fans)

2. Chubby chicks from UNCC and App State who bought their Kuechly jersey in the stadium's pro shop the day of the game.

3. Banker schmucks who are wearing sweater vests to the game and using corporate tickets that nobody else in the office would take.

But what about the actual game?

Well, for one, the stadium is going to be about 40% Redskins fans. So you won't have any home field advantage.

The only thing Cam Newton is gonna be dabbing is his wounds with some hydrogen peroxide. He can even use that towel he puts on his head.

Then once the Redskins beat the Panthers like the stepchild they are (34-24), Panthers fans can go back to rooting for the Steelers or Cowboys or Redskins or whomever their "first team" is.

Oh, and pro tip...if you're watching at a bar in NC they might actually have the Panthers on the big TV since they're playing the Redskins.

Panthers fans, get some Goody's Powders from Richard Petty, you'll need them.