clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

What Kind of Candy is Kirk Cousins?

Candy and Redskins...a match made in heaven. Match the candy to the Redskin!

Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

Before you all beat me to it, let me be very clear about one thing: There is only enough room around here for one piece of eye candy...and I haven't been waxing my bikini line for nothing. (I may have succeeded in preventing some comments, but I have invariably caused an entirely different batch of comments to stream in.)

The bye week has been the oasis in the desert for Redskins fans for years now. It has provided a port in the storm during many seasons where it stood as the one week where we were reasonably certain we wouldn't suffer a loss.

This year, the Redskins bye week comes at a very advantageous spot. Think about it: our 3-4 record feels WAY better than it looks. We are coming off a huge last-second victory--and yet another fourth quarter success story for our quarterback. Our mediocre division is wide open, and a few key players are healing up. In short, we feel pretty good about ourselves and our team.

The fact that we get a week to bask in this feeling prior to a rather murderous stretch of our schedule is a feather in our cap. AND, we get to bask with candy.

I thought this discussion would focus on Halloween with a Redskins twist. In short, which candy best matches the personality, play or some other aspect of our favorite Redskins?

Please keep your commentary on how or why you are comparing a certain player to a type of candy somewhat clean and respectful. Other than that, have at it!

I will go first. I will compare DeSean Jackson to a Cadbury Easter egg, because it is only available in April Morgan Moses to a Cookies and Creme Twix. At first, you think, "Why? Why did they do this?" You buy a box of them but they just sit in your cabinet...perhaps even for a year without much use or enjoyment. Then one day, you open one up after drinking about 27 beers. You think, "You know what? MAYBE I WAS WRONG! Maybe...just maybe there is some potential here." Then before you know it, you are eating one for breakfast and one right before bed...it becomes a staple of your diet.

Cookies and Creme Twix

Cookies and Creme Twix

P.S. If you are handing out candy in your neighborhood, don't fail to strongly consider going with King Size candy bars. You'll almost never have to worry about being egged or TP'ed.