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Hating With SkinsNJ: New York Jets Edition

Special Hogs Haven guest writer, all the way from New Jersey, takes on this week's edition of Hating With H8.

Danny Wild-USA TODAY Sports

This Sunday, the Washington football team, whose name is the Redskins, travel to exit 16W to face the New York Jets. Some of you may know the Jets as the third most famous and successful resident of the Meadowlands behind the New York Giants and Jimmy Hoffa. If the Giants are the Bruce Springsteen of the area then the Jets are surely the lowly Bon Jovi. The guys you wish you could forget about and are embarrassed to represent your home area. This of course doesn't prevent some drunks from starting their awful song at 2a.m. in a know that J-E-T-S song.

The game will be held at whatever Jets fans are calling Giants stadium these days at 1 p.m. This of course is assuming the big brother Giants let the Jets out of the dutch oven they have them trapped in on the top bunk in time.  "Goodell, the Giants are picking on me again!" It's tough to share a room with your older brother though.  You get no respect I tell ya, no respect at all. When the Jets were in high school, they shared a locker with a mop (tugs on tie).  Why no respect? Because the Jets deserve none, and to understand why, let's start at the top and work our way down.

The owner of the Jets is Woody Johnson of the Johnson & Johnson Dora the Explorer Band-Aid and No Tears Baby Shampoo fortune.  As a typical Jets fan, he displays no class, even at funerals.  He's so low he wore a Jets hat to the funeral of former Giants owner Wellington Mara.  No amount of feminine hygiene product sales could make his West Side stadium dream a reality.  So he had to settle for petty things like covering up the Giants Super Bowl trophies during Jets game days.  I guess you could say the Jets Super Bowl trophy is also covered up too though, with all that dust on it.

Down the line, you get to the coach.  From the silence and drop in pizza sales, I know it's no longer Rex Ryan. The current coach is Todd Bowles, shown here.

You may remember him as a former Redskins player, or from his most recent job as a Baltimore police officer where he created a temporary zone for legalized drug trafficking resulting in his termination.

Further down the evolutionary chart are the Jets fans.  Wow, where do I start? They're basically Eagles fans...but with jobs.  If Giants fans aren't sweaty and hairy enough for you, Jets fans have got you covered.  Coming up on 45 years of losing combined with having to share a city, stadium, turnpike exit, and shuttle from the parking lot to the stadium that is 25 miles away with the Giants has made this fan base very hostile.  I suppose the ride in from Queens and Long Island also makes them quite angry, at least they can get a few beers in on the drive though.  You won't find a meaner, nastier crowd of Italians/Jews this side of when the pizzeria/deli runs out of dough/matzoh.  When they're not pounding beers, they are pounding faces in the stands.  When they aren't pounding faces they are looking for a reason to pound faces. Come at me Bro!

I could go on for days about Jets fans, but that's almost enough to wet your appetite for Sunday.

But we're not done quite yet!  What could be lower than the common Jets fan you ask?  There can't be a worse representative for this strugg-a-ling franchise, can there? Well there is:

No not that guy, even lower:

This guy, Fireman Ed.  Fuck this guy.  If there's a more hate-able, self-indulgent, other-fan-assaulting, compensation-for -interviews-seeking asshole, I haven't meet him.  If you think that is harsh, you should see the quote my friend Colin, who will making the journey from Virginia to attend the game with me, gave me regarding him.  Let's just say it involved military weapons and urine. Good thing the team name is only 4 letters for his chant.  Do you really think he could handle any more than that?

Having said all this, I'm looking forward to making the trip on Sunday, and know/hope none of my Jets fan friends will kill me for this...probably...come on it's my birthday weekend. And because of that, my prediction is: Redskins 31 Jets 24 Me 30 beers.