Hating With H8: Atlanta Falcons Edition

So look at what we have here. The Atlanta Falcons are undefeated through the first quarter of the season. But if this season is anything like a Kyle Shanahan offense, it all goes south after the first quarter.

The Falcons fans are in this new relationship with a good looking girl. Everything is going great. Falcons fans are even getting their butts tickled. But we know Kyle pulls out all of his best tricks early on. Then...it's over. Sorry Falcoholics, but it's dry handies and missionary from here on out, but only on Saturday mornings.

Then the sabotage kicks in. Freeman is rushing for 200 yards by halftime? Kyle will call 50-yard bombs to Nick Williams and they'll all get intercepted. Julio Jones has 10 catches in the first quarter? Fullback dives baby! Kyle Shanahan is arguably the best offensive game planner in the league. Kyle Shanahan is unarguably the greatest take-a-huge-dump-on-the-perfect-game-plan-guy in the league. We won't laugh at you Falcons fans for changing your relationship status after a month.

Now, I'm getting a little tired of these guys in the deep south getting a little too big for their britches. And we all know what happened the last time DC had to send some guys down to Atlanta.

Now, what's going to happen during the game? Good question. The Redskins had to practice this week while blaring loud music. This was to simulate the crowd noise in Atlanta...be it actual crowd noise or Bose crowd noise. And if you read a Falcons fan forum comments section (I don't recommend it) you'd think we were playing Seattle in the playoffs. We'll be really intimidated by Samuel L. Jackson screaming "RISE UP" on the big screen.

I hope Samuel L. isn't worried about a new Mr. Glass coming to town.

And Atlanta Falcons "fans" get upset when you call them bandwagonners. But where would anyone ever get that idea?

I'm sorry Mr. Jackson. Oooooooh, I am for real.

Everybody is probably thinking "iH8, you're giving so much bulletin board material to the Falcons!" Don't worry, I used too many big words for Roddy White...words like 'the' and 'and'.

Predictions:

It's a REVENGE game for such dangerous players as Leonard Hankerson and Chris Chester. It'll be a blood bath of a 37-yard receiving performance and the most violent missed blocks you've ever seen. Kyle Shanahan will be so fired up, he'll completely forget Freeman exists.

Alfred Morris, Matt Jones and Chris Thompson run over 180 yards.

Kirk Cousins goes full General Sherman.

Redskins win 35-24.