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Five Things You Need To Know About...Dan Snyder

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Dan Snyder. I think I've said enough.

In May of 1999, Daniel Snyder purchased the Washington Redskins. In the 15 years of his ownership the team has a record of 108 wins and 155 losses (as of week 16 of the 2014 season). Highlights of his tenure include suing elderly season ticket holders who are no longer able to afford tickets, a revolving door of head coaches, and the revocation of the team's Trademark protection. His relationship with fans of his team is Steinbrenner-esque. His decisions on all things Redskins are baffling more times than not. None of this is news. Here are five more things you need to know about Dan Snyder.

#1. Dan's first job was at a B. Dalton's bookstore in the White Flint Mall in Montgomery County, MD.

#2. In 2006, Dan launched three sports radio stations through Red Zebra Broadcasting. The official name is Triple X ESPN Radio, but due to Snyder-ing (definition of Snyder-ing: Having a heavy-handed presence in a venture about which you know nothing), the stations are often referred to as "Dan Jazeera".

#3. In December of 2004, Dan was fined $100.00 for cutting down over 130 old-growth trees near his mansion above the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal National Historic Park. He was fined by the Maryland-National Capital Park and Planning Commission.

#4. In 2006, Kevin Hassett of the American Enterprise Institute wrote a report on Snyder's (mis)handling of the Redskins. Here are some highlights of the report: "I used the Redskins because they're the most frightening example of a team that hadn't thought through the simple economics of pro football". He also summed Snyder's approach to running the team as a "leading exemplar of this tendency toward irrationality". And finally, "Over time, [Snyder is] spending the same amount of money as everybody else, but he's spending it irrationally. I think they're years away from correcting the mistakes they've made."

#5. Dan ran Six Flags straight into bankruptcy. He beat the brand’s value into submission, costing him his seat as chairman and his entire investment in the venture. But he wasn’t the only person to lose a lot in that deal. It cost fellow investor Bill Gates $122 million, as well.

This video is dated, but still accurate. Just change the necessary names in your head:

As I dig deeper into the bizarre goings-on of Daniel Marc Snyder, I might need to expand this article into 10 Things You Need To Know. Or maybe 20 Things. There seems to be no end to the bizarre things I can find. I have a feeling I might turn this article into an entire series. That's unfortunate.