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I Can't Believe It's Not Football! (Redskins On Field Product Nearly Unidentifiable)

The Redskins will be trotting out another lineup this week designed to try and win a football game. Wait...this season is still going?

Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

I feel like the Redskins are trying very hard to put a product on the field that resembles a football team. They have all (or most of) the boxes filled.

Head coach? Check.

Twenty-two guys in pads and helmets that play all the requisite positions necessary to square off with their opponent? Check.

Rich white guy in a suit sitting in the nicest seat in the house that is "in charge?" Check.

Oblong leather ball to throw to the other team? Check.

Matching uniforms? Check.

And yet...something just seems off.

Perhaps it's the raging fire on top of the pile of crap over at Redskins Park, caused by the friction from the incessant head-scratching that takes place in Ashburn. You know...I honestly believe they just have no idea why the Redskins are so terrible. I can hear Bruce Allen and Dan Snyder, just scratching away, wondering aloud why this team is carrying on the annual tradition of being shitty.

Think about all the things that can go wrong in a football organization. How many of those are we absolutely rocking!?!?!????

General manager under fire for questionable draft picks? Check.

General manager and owner going all in on a quarterback that has all but flamed out? Check.

Head coach and front office at odds over which players to keep and move forward with and which players to cut ties with prior to the 2015 season? Check.

Anonymous quotes from inside the locker room questioning the "franchise quarterback" and the manner in which he treats others? Check.

Comedy of errors on the field leading to a culture of losing, confusion and chaos? Check.

A laundry list of players with less than three years of experience who are destined to never play in the league and probably should never have been drafted in the first place? Check.

Yet another first-year head coach that is creeping out of favor and speeding towards a standoff with management? Check.

How about an INTERNATIONAL controversy over the name of the freaking team, where outlets like the BBC and other global news organizations are jumping in with both feet to help crucify Dan Snyder for the use of the word "Redskin?" Check.

You want to throw in arrogance, hubris and condescension? Check--look no further than the Harvest Week quote from Bruce Allen. Seriously, the Redskins brass is not only showing its ass to all of us, they are blatantly calling us stupid.

I mean, you don't need to be a paint-by-the-numbers expert to see this thing come together. The disarray is in full bloom and nobody recognizes disarray like Redskins fans. That isn't to suggest we are the only team...going through some things. I try to remind myself that other teams have their problems, too.

The Arizona Cardinals are just about out of warm bodies to play quarterback, but I find it hard to feel sorry for an 11-3 team.

The Chicago Bears were considered legit contenders before this season. Their franchise quarterback is noted for being a dick and their star receiver just got out of the hospital with a collapsed lung and broken ribs.

The Carolina Panthers star quarterback was in a car accident where his car flipped over multiple times. Who was driving that thing? Reggie Hammond?

San Francisco, a team coming off three straight NFC Championship appearances and one Super Bowl visit and boasting a young, recently signed franchise quarterback and a head coach that seemed like the darling of the league as recently as a few months ago, is rumored to be close to "blowing it up." Wow.

The Jets? Miserable.

Tennessee, Jacksonville and Oakland? These are not places that hope calls home. These are barely places that hope visits for long weekends.

Kansas City, Cleveland, Houston, Buffalo, Miami and even Minnesota? These teams each have issues that are keeping them in the 7-6/6-7 range, just out of reach of being true contenders. None of these teams is making Super Bowl travel plans any time soon.

There are NFL fans all over the country with something to legitimately gripe about as it pertains to their team, and yet, would any of those fans trade places with us? I have to tell you...I don't think so--not even Jets fans. Not even BROWNS FANS!!!

I know,'s only football. It's a Sunday afternoon pastime, a distraction from the serious side of life and an outlet for our passions. How many Redskins fans feel less stressed during and after games? How many of us can lean on our NFL passion after getting embarrassed from the coin toss to the final whistle against...the RAMS? How much fun can you have sitting ringside in a heavyweight fight between Dan Snyder and himself? The guy just beats himself silly with one terrible move after another. At some point, aren't we all like the crowd in the final scene of Braveheart? We came to watch the torture, but enough is enough.


P.S. God help me, I will be glued to this Giants game on Sunday. What the hell is wrong with me?