Heartbroken Fantasy Football Owner Speaks Out About Heinous Trade Offer

On this Friday afternoon, I thought I would share something I read from a fantasy football owner that I respect a great deal. Let us each reflect on this incident and let it guide us away from such atrocities as the 2013 NFL season marches on.

The league this gentleman participates in is a very active dynasty league, where owners actively manage their roster all year round. Just as in most leagues, quarterbacks score the most points of anyone (by far), and you start two of them. What follows are his words:

Despite the Syrian conflict, multiple battle zones for our armed forces in the Middle East, violently fatal weather events from east to west and the ridiculously long wait between seasons of "The Walking Dead" and "Game of Thrones," I have managed to keep my head up and my spirits relatively steady. Living in DC, the daily nightmare of our do-nothing legislature combined with the oppressive humidity and increasingly bothersome mosquito problem makes it hard to maintain a resolute chin, not to mention the Nationals are blowing it on a daily basis. However, it wasn't until someone in this league offered me a wide receiver in exchange for a PRETTY decent quarterback AND my first overall pick in the draft that my heart finally gave out. It wasn't just any wide receiver...this one tore his Achilles and is potentially out for the entire season. Not only that, few injuries are as hard to come back from 100% than a torn Achilles, especially at the wide receiver position. The quarterback in question has a new offensive coordinator that has done nothing except make every quarterback he ever coached better.
As the trade offer sunk in, my soul sunk to new lows. Could this guy really think I was off my rocker enough to accept such a travesty of fantasy football trades? I have seen a monkey treat a handful of crap with more respect and consideration. As I struggle to find the will to continue living in a world where someone would think this deal satisfied the basic conditions held in the unwritten contract that binds our society, my hope is that this episode can somehow make me a better person...that somehow I can grow as a man and as a positive member of my community.

I am at a loss for words--except for all the words above...and the words following this admission of said "word loss."

Perhaps I had this coming...after all, my affinity for Leonard Hankerson may have identified me as a collector of wide receivers that may very well produce little to nothing in the 2013 fantasy season. Maybe the way I was dressed invited such an untoward proposition. Maybe deep down, I WANTED to be taken advantage of in this league. Maybe I CRAVE fantasy football rosters littered with players that may NEVER again see the field or produce meaningful statistics. Maybe I'M the problem.

Or maybe I was just the victim of a heinous fantasy football crime, and by talking about it with my fellow fantasy football fans, I can begin the long road back to normalcy. Someday, I might be able to once again pull the trigger on a fantasy football trade. Someday, I might be able to look at a trade offer and not feel the nad-flicking sting of regret and pain. Someday, the email subject line, "You Have a Trade Offer" will do more than cause an agonizing flashback to this distasteful event.

Pray for me, yes. But most importantly, pray for the lost soul who actually expended brain cells in the contemplation and submission of this grievous transaction. May Jebus have mercy on his soul.

Respectfully,
This Guy