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Slow News Day: What will happen first?

By Parks Smith
George leads this year's President's Race Standings with 10 wins. TJ has 6 and Abe has 4. Ole' Teddy is once again bringing up the rear with a goose egg.
George leads this year's President's Race Standings with 10 wins. TJ has 6 and Abe has 4. Ole' Teddy is once again bringing up the rear with a goose egg.

Lets face it Redskins fans we're in the doldrums right now. The draft has past, the hype has reached a standstill, and we patiently wait for the preseason and maybe some morsels of knowledge from OTAs in a couple of weeks. To pass these "dog days" we'll have the "Slow News Day" segment to help things along.

Today, we'll begin with what will happen in DC first?

Redskins Super Bowl Appearance: Since the Redskins last appearance in 1992 EVERY, SINGLE NFC squad (except the Lions) has been to the NFC Championship Game at some point. When will the Skins get back to the promised land?

Ernie Grunfeld Gets Fired: The Wizards are the nuclear holocaust of the NBA and Grunfeld is the cockroach or twinkie surviving it all. He's reaching Vinny status in DC, but yet somehow keeps getting contract extensions.

Caps Win the Cup: This was just thought to be a matter of when not if a couple of years ago. Their still going to do it, right? RIGHT? It seems like the team is constantly hitting the reset button and searching for identity despite the level of phenomenal talent in their system.

Teddy Wins the President's Race: It's hard to believe the Nats have now been around eight years, it's even harder to believe that poor Teddy Roosevelt has still yet to win a President's race.

Other things that are not likely to happen that were under consideration:

  • Redskins move back to DC
  • Redskin wins the MVP
  • A Wizard starts in the NBA All-Star Game
  • O's vs. Nats World Series
  • Jim Bowden and Vinny Cerrato get a radio show together and the world ends
  • UK learns how to speak English
  • Ken Comments on a post that isn't his
  • Kevin gets through a post without 5 grammatical errors
  • Steve applauds Jammal Brown's play
  • Parks replies to a comment from someone for making a good comment.
  • UK reveals what he looks like
  • Ken shaves his chest hair
  • Kevin reveals he really was the hipster in the video
  • Ronnie figures out the difference between Robert Meachem and Marques Colston
  • UK moves to the USA wearing Obama boxers

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