Dearest Bye Week,
Only nine days 'til you get here! I cannot wait to see you. The whole team is looking forward to your arrival, but the secondary is probably more pumped than anyone else. On their behalf, please give Carlos Rogers the finger while you're in San Francisco this weekend. It would really mean a lot to us.
In the year since your last trip to Washington, we got this freakishly talented rookie QB. Didn't see that coming, right? His fiancee, though, not so much. I digress...
Let me cut to the chase: our whole defense is hanging by a sinuous thread—or tendon, as the case may be. Last in the league. If you could see my corpse-like visage right now, you'd know this is no joke.
Brian Orakpo and Adam Carriker are out for the year with injuries; we picked up Meriweather in free agency but he's been sidelined the whole regular season; and Tanard Jackson got suspended for possession of below-average intelligence. That reminds me—Chris Neild, Jonathan Goff, and Jordan Bernstine are done for the year, too.
On offense, Pierre Garcon is counting on you to give him time to heal for a week 11 return. He's still holding out hope that he won't need surgery. I'm still holding out hope that I'll be 5'10" like Cindy Crawford. Never say never!
Sorry this letter has turned into a pity party. What's new with you? How's your mom? What do you wanna do when you get to DC? Can't wait to see you. Seriously, I can't wait. Hurry up.
PS: Adam Carriker and his wife had a baby! Pics to come.
PPS: Here are this week's injuries:
WR Pierre Garcon—Torn plantar plate (toe ligament) in right foot. So much for the pain threshold/playing can't worsen the injury logic we were fed earlier this season. There are two possible scenarios: either the medical staff missed the tear all along, or ill-advised return attempts tore an already strained ligament. Neither paint a flattering portrait of how the Redskins handled the injury. For now, fans have to hope for a post-bye week return. Official Game Status: Out.
LB Perry Riley—Tweaked a hamstring on Sunday. Has been limited in practice this week. Official Game Status: Questionable.
LB London Fletcher—Hamstring and mystery balance issues threatened Fletcher's start streak last week. Practiced fully this week. Official Game Status: Probable.
CB Josh Wilson—Despite a sore shoulder, Wilson practiced fully all week. Official Game Status: Probable.
CB David Jones—A lingering achilles injury hasn't prevented Jones from practicing fully. Official Game Status: Probable.
S Brandon Meriweather—The injured safety is closer to putting that embarrassing pre-game collision behind him. He returned to practice Wednesday with the hope of testing out his sprained knee. While he hasn't experienced a setback, he's still looking at a post-bye week return. Official Game Status: Out.
P Saverio Rocca—Dude has a torn meniscus in his right knee, then boots a 12-yard punt against the Steelers, and we're supposed to believe him when he says the injury doesn't affect his punting? "It's sore, ya know? But I want to keep my job, so I keep punting," he told The Washington Post. It's just the steps leading up, the planting his foot, that hurts. Right, sounds like a totally separate, unrelated problem. Kick on, Saverio. Official Game Status: Why not?
Lemme know if there's anyone I missed!