Week Six Injury Update: Fancy Meeting You Here, RGIII

Dear Heavenly Father of Football,

PLEASE suggest to mere mortal Robert Griffin III that his long-term health is more important than one first down. PLEASE suggest that he throw away the ball, or at least find an alternative to sacrificing life and precious limb. And last, but not least, PLEASE smite that Sean Weatherspoon dude (maybe a plague of locusts or something? Use your imagination). Thanks, amen!

Oh, yeah. Injuries.

On offense:

QB Robert Griffin III—It took Mr. Congeniality five weeks to show up on this list. Am I pissed? Yes. Surprised? No. On third and goal in the third quarter of the Falcons game, Griffin took off with the ball toward the outside egde. A crushing shoulder-to-helmet hit by Sean Weatherspoon left our man in a heap on the field just moments later. "I felt like he was still turning upfield, so I was just trying to make a play," Weatherspoon said after the game. "Most quarterbacks would probably slide out of bounds or run out of bounds, but he's a tough guy." PS: I hate you.

What I gather from the nauseating amount of press is that Griffin came to the sideline and claimed to be fine, accurately stating the quarter and score at that time. Shanahan rightly insisted that The Future was not fine, and trainers took him back to a small room near the sideline for evaluation. There, he reportedly could not recall the quarter or score, at which point he was ushered into the locker room and did not return.

The team used the phrase "shaken up" to announce Griffin's injury, which may or may have violated league requirements of "timely, accurate" injury reporting. For his part, Shanahan clarified that he is not a doctor—lest anyone mistake him for an aged Doogie Howser with rosacea—and claimed that the announcement was made before the official concussion diagnosis. Whatever. The players association medical director said that the team followed the correct procedure to protect the QB's health. NFL concussion protocols require Griffin to pass a series of cognitive tests and be cleared by an independent neurologist before retaking the field. For more detail, check out this explanation in The Washington Post.

The symptoms appeared minor, and RGIII tweeted his intention to return in time for next Sunday's game against the Vikings. Stay tuned (for the locusts, if you're Weatherspoon).

On defense:

CB Cedric Griffin—A strained hamstring landed the other Griffin on the inactives list for the Atlanta game. No word on the timetable for return.

S Brandon Meriweather—Pshhhhhhhh. I actually made that sound while reading the latest news on Meriweather. The tragicomic collision with Aldrick Robinson will cost the safety another four weeks.

On special teams:

K Billy Cundiff—Cundiff's chronic case of jelly leg flared up again in the Falcons game, causing him to miss yet another 31-yarder after three misses the previous week. This most recent bout appears to be fatal, as the team will try out replacements today. Somewhere in the kicker graveyard, Gano's corpse is chuckling with glee.

That's it for me. Lemme know if I missed anyone.