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How Vinny Cerrato Would Handle Redskins 2011 Free Agency Frenzy

ESPN posted an article yesterday called, "Inside the Mind of a NFL GM," which includes the mandatory steps on handling NFL free agency by......Vinny Cerrato. I stopped reading when my eyes recorded "Coach-GM balance is critical." Really? None of our coaches wanted Haynesworth or Jason Taylor. I digress. Here's how I envision your 2011 Washington Redskins if Cerrato, not Bruce Allen, was given the keys to free agency next week:

Restructure Albert Haynesworth 4-years, $44 million ($16m signing bonus)
Vinny says: "Albert is the best defensive tackle in the NFL and we are not going to give up on him yet. It's true we signed him to play in a 4-3 defense, and that wasn't fair to Albert. With this new deal and signing bonus, Haynesworth promised he would play any position in the 3-4."
Vinny's internal thoughts: There's no way Haynesworth could lie to my face twice. I was smart enough to put in the contract he can't refuse to play or practice. Shooot! I didn't put anything quantitative though. I guess Albert could just go out on every play and just stand there....nah. Not with Kris Jenkins competing for his spot the next three years.


Trade for Jimmy Clausen 2012 2nd, 3rd round picks
Vinny says: "Clausen is the perfect Quarterback for the west coast offense system. He has mobility, accuracy, and he's sooo frickin cool. I'm most excited about this one. Joe Montana once told me at the 2007 Notre Dame alum gala that Clausen has 'great potential.'"
Vinny's internal thoughts: I originally tried to trade our 2012 1st round pick for Carson Palmer but Cincy wanted no part of it. I mean...getting a #1 overall QB for what will likely be a pick in the 20s next year? NO BRAINER! Cincy is too smart for that though. LOL. I know Clausen struggled in Carolina, but we're talking about John Fox here. Look what he did with Jake Delhomme, Chris Weinke, David Carr. Mel Kiper and I re-watched all of Jimmy's game tape and we know how to fix it. Shanahan doesn't know I did this trade yet...I'm going to make sure I'm in Palms Springs when he does. LOL. It took a TON of wheeling and dealing, but I was able to save our 1st round pick. Suck it Washington Post!!!
Santana Moss 6-year/$53 million (guaranteed)
Vinny says: "Santana has been a consistent and reliable offensive threat for the Redskins over these fine years. We are proud to announce he will retire a Redskin. $30 million of the contract is payable the last two years as to ensure we could still sign quality players today."
Vinny's internal thoughts: The Redskins have over 350,000 Moss jerseys in a warehouse. Re-signing Santana will guarantee these get moved and will pay for the contract...assuming he extends to 8-years.


Sign 7 Undrafted Free Agent OLinemen Rookie contracts
Vinny says: "Establishing an offensive line for the future is a top priority, that's why I'm elated we've signed seven of the nation's best offensive linemen. You probably haven't heard of them, but did you hear of Joe Jacoby before whenever that was? No."
Vinny's internal thoughts: If we have a mobile Quarterback then getting decent OLinemen will be more than adequate. Focusing on skilled positions creates excitement and thus more prime time games.


Sign Logan Mankins 4-years, $49 million
Vinny says: "With the influx of young talent at OLine (see above), we need mentors. My sugar tongue was unable to seduce Joe Bugel out of retirement, so this is the next best thing. Mankins not only fills a hole at Guard, but a hole in our players' hearts."
Vinny's internal thoughts: Media and fans will not buy that an Oline built on undrafted free agent Olinemen will succeed. I know they can. After all, I found Will Montgomery and Stephon Heyer. Mankins is a nice addition to shut them up. Whether he plays past week six I could care less. He's under 30 years old, so suck it Washington Post!!!


Sign Kris Jenkins 2-years, $20 million ($13m signing bonus)
Vinny says: "The 3-4 defense starts with the Nose Tackle. Did I mention I signed a franchise QB?! Jenkins said he retired, but we all knew he still had that fire in him to play, which is evident when the Redskins came knocking on his door. He didn't even hesitate to sign. That's what Redskins football is about. It was a little strange he said no, until we showed him the contract, but maybe he thought we weren't serious he could still play!"
Vinny's internal thoughts: We have Dr. Andrews on speed dial...nothing to worry about here on his knee.


Release McNabb 1st minute of free agency
Vinny says: "McNabb is a Pro-Bowl Quarterback who will continue somewhere, I think."
Vinny's internal thoughts: I don't care what McNabb does because Clausen will double it.


So what did I miss? Another DHall style signing for Nnamdi?