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Study Shows Watching Dallas Cowboys Games Makes You Dumber

I know what you're thinking. This has to be made up, right?


It's true. A study released by researchers from the University of Austria (published in the online journal Media Psychology)  suggests that watching something dumb might make you dumber. According to the study's abstract, "Media priming refers to the residual, often unintended consequences of media use on subsequent perception, judgements, and behavior."

These researchers believe that the things we watch, read or listen to will influence our behavior as well as our emotions and emotional state. That might not be something entirely new, but the lead author Marcus Appel (I am not making this up) suggests that this study is the first to show the effects of media priming on cognitive performance.

As Redskins fans, we routinely bear the burden of employing logic and reason. Our innocence was stolen from us at the turn of the century, kicking off what has been an all too painful Age of Awareness. You could say we know too much now.

But finally...FINALLY we have an explanation of what is going on inside the brains of all those Dallas Cowgirls fans. The cumulative effect of all those years of vapid Cowgirls programming has been total cognitive annihilation.

Please remember this the next time you are dealing with a Dallas fan. And for the love of God...stay away from the TV if you see any blue stars on the screen, or you could end up being dumb enough to think Tony Romo can ever win a Super Bowl.

(And yes, I get the irony that reading this probably made you dumber.)