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Kicking (Flat) Tires: Uncle Rico

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A QB that can throw a ball a 1/4 mile?!?! I'm getting flashbacks to Jeff George and Jay Schroeder.
A QB that can throw a ball a 1/4 mile?!?! I'm getting flashbacks to Jeff George and Jay Schroeder.

I've hijacked Parks' "Kicking Tires" series a bit, and I hope he doesn't mind in this gauntlet of false slow news times. I wouldn't be shocked to see 5 Redskins QBs early on at camp, which opens a lot of doors for QB prospects out there. Is it possible to find lightning in a bottle with Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite? Rico certainly has a lot of red flags, which I mentioned below, but the upside might be there to at least give him a look:

Pros

- Can throw a pig skin a quarter mile.
- Deadly accuracy from 20 yards with a steak
- If he throws an interception, he can go back in time and correct it (pending he finds the right crystals)
- Can save you tons of money on tupperware
- Rabach is still at a loss for a training camp habitat since Jon Jansen and his RV are gone. Rico's van could be a nice hold-over.
- Has videos of his own Pro-Day in fields. (much more difficult conditions to throw in)

Cons/Red Flags:

- Not sure if he can actually run.
- He is in dire need of money.
- He's propositioned a high school girl.
- Ran a sleezy breast augmentation business, including clients for high school girls, which could be a PR nightmare.

As you can see, the pros narrowly outweigh the cons.  Thoughts? 

We would need to assign him either #3 or #92.