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Kicking (Flat) Tires: Jared Lorenzen

Which player's build is less athletic for their position? I dunno.

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Which player's build is less athletic for their position? I dunno. Image via

Hogs Haven Editor, Parks Smith, has done a great job in his "Kicking Tires" series highlighting all the free agent QBs that are available. Since Shanahan likes a minimum of 4 QBs in camp, assuming this lockout ends before August, the Redskins Head Coach will need to sign at least one of these free agent guys (I think Rex will be back). One QB that has been forgotten is former undrafted NY Giants Quarterbarck, Jared Lorenzen.


Leads the UIFL (Ultiamte Indoor Football League) in passing with 2896 yards (263 yards per game average) and total offense with a 268.5 yards per game.
- Led a game-winning game against the Ravens in the 2006 pre-season (that sounds like he can run a 2-minute drill to me)
- Dealt with 2 Head Coaching changes at Kentucky, so he has experience with learning new systems
- Can be our 3rd and 1 rusher (converted a QB sneak pushing the pile vs Eagles in a Wild Card game)
- Has Kentucky ties to DC athletes: John Wall and Jeremy Jarmon
- As his UIFL profile states, he's a "Super Bowl Winning QB."
- He's the UIFL's 6th leading rusher, which will come in handy behind Rabach.


- He's 320+ pounds
- He failed to stay in the NFL after being a backup under both Peyton and Eli Manning
- In regards to work-ethic, he could be a bad influence on Haynesworth
- Behind our OLine, we need a QB that can take hits. A stomach full of 4 deep dish pizzas will certainly do the trick.

I mean, who wouldn't want to see Lorenzen in the open-field steam-rolling 3 defenders? (video after jump)