I am admittedly one of the worst when it comes to keeping my credit card in check after a night of drinking. I'm pretty good at avoiding the disaster products like the Snuggie, Pet Snuggie, and ShamWow, but the Redskins toaster easily could fall into my web of stupid crap that finds my mailbox.
A Redskins fan tweeted me about this toaster earlier today, and there's TOO much fun to be had with potential informercial headlines. Ken and I came up with these:
"Why not own a toaster that reflects your defense ... consistently burned!"
"Hey Redskins fans! Do you find it difficult sometimes to remember why you're so depressed from September to January? With this new toaster, you can be reminded every day!"
"Free with your order of 2 Skybox suites."
"Now with special 'Week 13' setting, toaster automatically shuts down halfway through process."
"The perfect companion appliance for your Vinny Cerrato Turkey Inseminator."
"The Toaster will set you back $34.99, but with the licensing and branding fee of $5.00 per piece of bread, this appliance will really cost you in the long run."
"Enjoy 3 settings: Lightly Toasted, Medium, and Barry WilBurned"
"What do you think, Max? It's got three speeds!!"
"Tired of seeing Jesus or the Virgin Mary in your breakfast food? This toaster is for you!"
Rejected headlines:
"Now your food can be racist, too!"