'Tis the season to beat the same stories into the ground for 5 months. We are big dumb animals in that regard. Far be it for me to run from that or declare I am above it. I am right there with all of you. The only thing greater than my disgust for spinning on the hamster wheel of Redskins stories every February and March is my addiction to the ol' hamster wheel itself. We like our news like we like our Waffle House hash browns: Smothered, Covered and Diced.
If a Ken Meringolo from the future were to knock on my door and beg me to Carpe the Diem instead of revisiting the same old headlines over and over again all year, I would look him in the eye and say, "I don't care about winning lottery numbers, the ability to avert world disasters or the outcomes of any sporting event that could net me huge winnings...but please...I have to know...what is the outcome of this Dan Snyder vs. Dave McKenna situation? And are they serious about a Voltron movie this time, or are they just toying with my emotions?"
Talk about beating a dead horse with a gallon bucket of glue. As General Patton put it..."I do love it so."
Snyder vs McKenna
Shanahan vs Haynesworth
Carlos Rogers vs The Ability to Catch
Donovan McNabb vs Old Age
4-3 vs 3-4
Building Through the Draft vs Free Agency
The list goes on and on. Over the course of the last week or so, I have picked up on a pocket of resentment in our ranks over the fact that we can't seem to move on from the "same old stories." Last year at this time I might have been inclined to agree and I may have even led a charge against the recycling of the same old news. But facing what seems to be an inevitable dark period for the NFL, I find myself clinging to the comfort of the Rex Grossman debate. It's like a warm quilt, with each square of mediocrity and awfulness sewn together with disdain.
Our solemn pledge to you all in the coming months: we will do our absolute best to throw as much water onto the grease fire that is the current Redskins news climate. By adding our 2 pesos to every possible angle of each and every story, we will ensure that things don't get missed. Where else could you get the following hard-hitting analysis of the Haynesworth situation:
"Albert Haynesworth's presence on our team is less important than the volleyball scene in Top Gun."
You're welcome.
Stay tuned. I have to go now...I am serious about getting to the bottom of this Voltron story.