What do you do when you love two very different things? Put them together. It worked with Red Bull and Vodka, Jack and Coke, so why not the Simpsons and Redskins? When my mind drifted off the other day, it came to me how much Haynesworth reminded me of Barney Gumble. Lazy, fat, bumbling...soon after more and more Redskins fell into place. What's ironic is that Barney isn't even the best fit for #92 (see after the jump). Behold are my 25 Redskins to Simpsons characters. I'm looking forward to the comments (additionial entries) for this one and special thanks to a couple of my friends who contributed to this as well (jayisthemac).
| Character |
Description |
Redskin |
Duffman
 |
Athletic smooth-talker who wears tight clothes and drinks heavily.
Both have scored multiple cheerleaders. OH YEAAH.
|
Captain Chaos
|
Principal Skinner
 |
The head principal who lacks authority, is the primary subject of mockery, and at the end of the day is left to think of better days in the past. With Skinner, it was ‘Nam – and with Cerrato Notre Dame and San Fran.
Can't you just picture the Redskins owner yelling "VINNNNY!!" the same way Super Nintendo Chalmers yelled "SKINNER!"
|
Vinny Cerrato
|
Disco Stu
 |
Not much explaining needed here. |
Clinton Portis
 |
Fat Tony
|
Physical leader of the group. Doesn't let anyone push around his mates. |
Al Haynesworth (2009)
|
Comic Book Store guy
|
Fat, annoying, and doesn't have any friends..."Worst Contract...Ever!" |
Al Haynesworth (2010)
|
Johnny Tightlips
|
"I ain't sayin' nothin'!" |
Mike Shanahan
 |
Gil
|
Always getting fired from potential jobs. Ole Gil never catches a break! |
Marcus Mason
 |
|
Dr. Nick Riveria
|
The Redskins had more injuries than I ever want to remember..10 on IR by mid-December 2009. Players mentioned the program was a joke, and the Strength staff as a result was over-hauled. |
John Hastings
(Head Strength & Conditioning coach 2006-9)
|
Lenny
|
Has a high-level expetrise in his field, yet his naive actions are what shine through at work and in life. |
Steve Spurrier
|
Karl
|
The no non-sense type and often gets annoyed with Lenny. |
Marvin Lewis
|
Hans Moleman
|
Although apparently elderly, claims he is much younger than he is. |
Joey Galloway
 |
Ned Flanders
|
Devout Christian who follows the Bible and attempts to instill it in others. Also loves repeating the same phrase over and over. "Okilly-dokilly" and "They really fought their guts out."
|
Joe Gibbs
 |
Rod & Todd Flanders
|
Rod: Learned so much from his father and prays for his success.
Todd: The shorter of the two brothers who also follows a life of Jesus set by the examples of Ned and Rod.
Note: In Darrell Green's HoF Induction speech, he mentioned "Lord, Christ, God, or Church" 22 times. Monk said it 11 times.
|
Art Monk & Darrell Green
|
Krusty the Klown
|
Hard-living entertainer with drug addiction and illiteracy problems. |
Dexter Manley
|
|
Bumble Bee Man
|
"No me gusta!" |
Max Zendejas
 |
McBain
 |
Physical force with the deep voice to match.
I'm pretty sure Rak drives a Canyonero as well.
|
Brian Orakpo
 |
Apu
 |
Only foreigner I can think of that played for the Redskins. |
Shar Pourdanesh
|
Abe Simpson
 |
One of the patriarchs of the family, yet sometimes loses focus in the middle of his sentence. |
Sam Huff
 |
Artie Ziff
|
Confident, nerdy, rich, and used to getting what he wants. |
Dan Snyder
 |
Rich Texan
|
Stereotypical rich, callous, and gregarious Texas business owner. |
Jerry Jones
 |
Kent Brockman
 |
TV personality. That's about all they have in common. |
Larry Michael
|
Bleeding Gums Murphy
 |
Enjoyed thoroughly and only by Lisa Simpson (who is a metaphor for Redskins Nation in this). |
Chief Zee
 |
|
Mix between...
Chief Wiggum
Professor Frink
|
He was in charge, but had no control or respect from the community or his staff.
Also, came up with bizarre inventions when helping his people in crisis.
|
Jim Zorn
 |
Galloway image via Boston Herald, Marcus Mason picture via Redskins Blog.
