If anyone knows me, I love to pull pranks. When it comes to people that go out of their way to piss me off, I'll spend days or even weeks planning my schemes. Well, if I was a Redskins player, busting my butt while one teammate stays home, you better believe I'm going to prank his ass. The Redskins players need to pull a prank on Haynesworth to send two messages:
One: We own this team and you need to play by our rules,
Two: We still love and respect you, which is why we went to the effort to prank you.
Pranks are great for team chemistry and prevent that "awkward" moment, like the first time you see your ex-girlfriend at a bar. "I shouldn't have to say hi to her, she should say hi to me."
On to the prank ideas. We didn't spend 'days or weeks' on these, yet I stand by all of them:
Prank 1: Replace Albert's jersey with either one of these jerseys and have the smallest guy on the team where #92. On the current roster, that's Brandon Banks (return specialist from Kansas State) who lists as 5-7, 150 lbs. When Haynesworth arrives, everyone plays dumb and say they don't know what's up.
Prank 2: Have a new playbook waiting on his chair stating the Redskins are switching to a 1-6-4 where he'll have to be the lone Nose Tackle in the middle.
Prank 3: (getting into the more elaborate Photoshops...)
Prank 3: Start a false rumor to appear on TMZ.com that a sex tape exists between Haynesworth and Tennessee Womens' basketball coach Pat Summitt.
Prank 4: Post any or all of these up in Haynesworth's locker prior to his arrival. With Haynesworth having played for the Tennessee Volunteers and missing voluntary workouts, these jokes write themselves.
Here's even an easily printable PDF form to help you (*cough* - Cooley - *cough* ) guys out.
Prank 6: Stock Albert's locker with 4 cases of the most top of the line knee pads, with a note signed by the whole team: "Albert, we missed you at the earlier camps, so since we know you'll have a hard time running up and down the field, we wanted to make sure you were at your most comfortable when you can't. Enjoy. Love, Team"
Of course Albert will have a quick laugh at that....hardy-har-har. Well, when he walks out onto the field. Have this baby ready to escort him every 10 yards down field each time the offense gets a first down. I've heard players, even the most fit like Andre Carter, have been absolutely GASSED at practices. The new conditioning scheme is not a joke. This cart will be put to a lot of use...which is a perfect opportunity for comedy. They could even soop-up Vinny Cerrato's old cart since he obviously won't be using it.
OK...so which ones you like and what prank ideas do you have?