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Pour Some Sugar On Me -- Dallas Week...It Still Matters

When these two teams face off, the records don't matter (thank God).
When these two teams face off, the records don't matter (thank God).

I know, I know...the remainder of the 2010 season carries little to no meaning for any of us at this point. With our record guaranteed to be improved from last year (I couldn't resist), there seems to be nothing really worth tuning in to see, right?


IT'S DALLAS WEEK! And it still matters. A win over the Cowgirls is more than just a tally in the Win/Loss column. We talk about the rivalry throughout the year as something that means something to us. Just because the game carries no postseason significance is not enough to turn an apathetic heart to it.

I can already hear you begging me to pull the plug on this season already. Let it go. Let it go in peace. Do the humane thing and just let it slip away quietly. But I can' matter how ludicrous it gets.

You want ludicrous? Try playing Beirut in the parking lot at FedEx in the cold rain with a driving wind altering every shot in ridiculous ways. I had to throw a Nolan Ryan fastball just to make it across the table at different times. Or aim 3 feet to the right. This past Sunday, I recall standing in to take my shot and using the thick, heavy steam of my breath to gauge the wind. Carlos Spicyweiner himself couldn't have done a better job in the harsh Hoth-like conditions. Do I strike you as someone who is afraid of a little lunacy?

Far be it from me to suggest that people tune back in to this team in the hopes of seeing something that won't crush your spirit like a rotten canteloupe. But this is diffferent. This is Redskins/Cowgirls.

This rivalry has been (at times) at its best when one team is down and out. With BOTH teams having little on the line, this game could be EPIC! The opposite is true too, of course.

We could spend the rest of our time together today recounting glorious episodes in this rivalry. Brunell to Moss...Dexter making Danny White cry...Darrell Green winning his last Dallas game...Sean Taylor returning the blocked kick. But I simply can't do it. Even for me, it would seem a bit disingenuous.

How about this instead: Despite the fact that our season got hijacked a long time ago by a failure to show up and execute on a week in and week out basis--cough...the Rams game..cough--I still desperately want to beat the Cowgirls. Desperately.

I know that when I turn on the game this week, I stand a very good chance of seeing the latest in a long series of Keystone Kops-style antics. But I will block it all out for a chance to see the burgundy and gold somehow, some way figure out a way to exit Jerry's Fun House with a victory.

Keep in mind, we have ground to make up in this series. It is still somewhat lopsided in favor of Dallas thanks to a pretty good run by the Emmitt-led version of the Cowgirls. (I like to point out that we own the lead in the postseason series against Dallas though.) So season sweeps are vital for us.

I don't care at all about drafting in front of or behind Dallas. I don't care at all that a win over Dallas would be a not-so-gentle reminder of what could have been this season. I don't care that we will probably get the worst announcers to ever wear headsets. (Damn...that is going to absolutely blow.) A sweep over Dallas would not make this season any less redonkulous. But it would feel terrific.

This is my wish for all of you out deserve that feeling.

I want to beat Dallas for the sake of beating Dallas.

It matters.