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Redskins Fans Wake Up On Monday Morning Without Pain Of Sunday Loss

Thousands of Redskins fans woke up on Monday morning with an odd crispness to their step. They hit the ground running with a fresh outlook on the day and week that would have been unrecognizable to any Redskins fan prior to today.

"It was like I had the will to face just about anything that came my way when I woke up this morning," said one Redskins fan who admitted that the smile on his face on this Monday morning was usually reserved for Mondays after weekend trips to Vegas, or when he opens a fresh box of frozen waffles. He explained, "When you open a fresh box of frozen waffles, you know they are going to be fresh. You can eat five, maybe six of those things and you know they are all going to be as good they can possibly be. Of course, the next time you go for waffles, you are going to have to eat those freezer-burned leftovers...I like to save those for when I am drunk."


No loss for the Redskins yesterday means a week that Redskins fans can start without the fresh pain of mediocrity stinging the heart, mind and soul. We asked another burgundy and gold fan what it was like to get this week started without the day-old memory of coming up short in yet another loss.

"Huge...just huge. This changes my whole week. Not only do I still have enough Jack Daniels to get me through the week for once, but my girlfriend is actually talking to me today. When the Redskins lose, I can't deal with her problems, especially since all her problems are somehow my fault. I haven't celebrated a 3-week anniversary during a football season with a girlfriend in years."

As we conducted our man-on-the-street interviews to gauge the euphoria today in D.C., we noticed a man wearing a Darrell Green jersey walking with a decided limp toward the Metro stop. His walk suggested great pain, but he wore a giant smile on his face as he carried what appeared to be luggage for a trip he was about to embark upon. We asked him if we could help him carry his bags, but he enthusiastically denied our help. We asked what was causing his limp.

"Son, I am doing just fine. Couldn't be happier about the non-loss yesterday. Unfortunately, even though the team did not play this past weekend, Daniel Snyder continued his sexual assault on my 5-hole. I suspect I'll have this limp for some time. He's killing me!"