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This story has nothing to do with the Redskins

[editor's note, by Skin Patrol] indulge me only for a moment to comment on a non-Redskin, totally blog/blogger/nerd-alert related story that should interest only those of us with websites that post anonymously or semi-anonymously. If you don't want to read it, please don't. I curse a lot.

Kissing Suzy Kolber is one of my favorite websites. Unsilent Majority aka Jack Kogod is one of my favoritest bloggers in all the internets, and he writes for KSK. He's also about as strong a Redskins fan as exists, anywhere, ever, in history. One of his blogging colleagues is Christmas Ape who also happened to be a real journalist for the Washington Post, up until he ousted himself as the kind of totally unprofessional immoral monster that would dare consume alcohol. Full details are here.

The truncated versions of events is:

  1. Christmas Ape is totally awesome on KSK for a long time.
  2. During this time, Christmas Ape also writes and works for the Washington Post, I have no idea how awesome he is at doing that, I've never read his articles.
  3. KSK gets purchased and is now legit and can fund its bloggers.
  4. Bloggers begin coming out of the (blogging) closet -- former Redskin Michael Westbrook freaks shit and checks behind his shoulder -- by shedding anonymity. Something like this happened.
  5. Christmas Ape exposes himself to the world as a blogger and a responsible human being.
  6. In the offending post he admits he was "totally fucking hammered", which is not only morally normal behavior but Constitutionally protected. The 21st Amendment to the Constitution reads: If your team goes to the Super Bowl and you are at the game and you aren't fucking hammered, it's your ass, and we mean serious old school your ass, like Article III Section 3 Corruption of Blood shit.
  7. Ok so there is some dispute about whether he was fired or resigned.
I don't really have a horse in this race since it appears Christmas Ape is better off anyways for the firing. My only problem is that the fact a guy who happens to be employed somewhere gets drunk at the Super Bowl is even remotely controversial reflects a terrifying level of insecurity that is cultural pervasive. Would I be "fucking hammered" if I were at a Super Bowl in which the Redskins were participating? Yea, even if I were 117 years old, so long as there is alcohol in my veins I'll up its blood content in celebration of the Redskins going to the Super Bowl. I got drunk when we beat the Cardinals last year, for chrissake. I guess I'll be jobless forever, which surely serves the greater good as a bunch of drunk, unemployed, foam parrot hugging lunatics wandering the streets from 9 to 5 is just what this country needs more of.

I don't know whether it was Seymour Lipset or Richard Lamm or Jared Diamond or Arnold Toynbee, but whoever said that societies never die from murder, only suicide, just about had it right. The Washington Post is an American Institution of note. If succumbing to the grape at the Super Bowl -- and, really, would anything less be appropriate???? I wouldn't trust anyone who doesn't drink at the Super Bowl! -- is this culture's idea of morally corrupt behavior, then we've already pulled the trigger.

Bla. Back to Redskins.