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Jesus PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday 2/22/08 7:20AM - OK, so it is raining and there are accidents ALL OVER D.C. There is a 30 car pileup on 370. Can anyone drive in this city? Freakin schools are closed/delayed and it is raining!! People...PLEASE READ is your guide in how to drive in snow, ice, and rain!!

1.) When there's inclement weather, it's going to take longer for you to get where you are going. Just accept it. Either leave earlier or call ahead. Everyone has the same problem as you so if you have a meeting or some rule you have to be at your desk at 9...just give it up. It's a valid excuse. The "don't be a hero" theory applies here.

2.) You're not going to be able to drive normal speeds even if traffic is moderate. Keep to a speed where you can feel the car on the road. Let the people that don't understand this rule pass you on the left and throw your coffee at the person on the right going 5 mph with their hazard lights on.

3.) Don't expect to hit the gas and brake like you normally do. That's what causes you to spin out. Ease into ALL acceleration and braking. Even if you have to make a sudden stop (which you shouldn't because of #2), ease the brake first before slamming it.

4.) If you do lose control where the car starts veering, turn your steering wheel into the direction the car is veering...this will get you control again. DON'T SLAM THE BRAKE.

5.) If you do have great traction and see a bridge or ramp above, ASSUME that it is icy. There is always that bump where the pavement meets the bridge and that is enough to spin you out. Do not EVER accelerate when driving over this part. Take your foot off the gas then slowly re-accelerate once you're through it. This goes for ANY part of the road you suspect icy patches.

If any of the above fails, you're an idiot. Move to Florida.