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New feature here at Hogs Haven that may or may not be an amaranthine attraction. Here's what we won, per the elegant box score:

  1. Total first downs 19-18. Tied for 12 by passing though we snuck out with 7 over their 6 by rushing.
  2. Average gain per offensive yard, barely: 5.4 to 5.2.
  3. 130 rushing yards to their 114; the Eagles are not a rushing team and this is an empty victory. The true credit goes to the defense for keeping the Eagles from making up the yards in the passing game.
  4. 33 rushes to their 20.
  5. SACKS. JC sacked once for 2 yards, Donovan sacked 3 times for 14 yards.
  6. 6.6 yards per passing play vs. their 3.5, which is pathetic, or equally impressive credited to the defense.
  7. 17-9 total return yardage. What a big stat.
  8. 2-0 in touchdowns, despite losing the turnover battle 1-0. D + a wall that semi separates one land area from another.
  9. Red Zone efficiency: 2 of 4 makes us 50%, 0 of 4 makes them 0%. Holla at your defense.
  10. TOP: Ok, ok, ok... by 8 seconds.
  11. 20-12.
HTTR.

Mister Irrelevant, ‘LaRon Means The Ron!’