Post Game Heroes strikes first after their convincing win over yours truly last week and their marginal victory over Ben and Common Prejudice. Our own TexSkins would have acquitted this space much better in deathmatch blogger pick'em than I did.
It wasn't lost on yours truly that had I simply picked against my intuition on every single pick, rather than being 4-10-2 I'd have been 10-4-2, good enough for the win. Those are the facts here presented.
In the 86th episode of the hit series Seinfeld, Jason Alexander's character, George Castanza, realizes that every decision he's made to that point in his life has been wrong. In a moment of sheer genius, our Anti-Hero decides to pick against his intuition, a strategy that yields teh sex, relocation from his parent's house, and a job with the New York Yankees.
Most of you have already guessed what this has to do with me, though I'm going to dip into the pop culture well just a bit more to milk this whole shabangabang. In 1983, the year I was born, the movie War Games (starring Matthew Broderick) was released. It was prophetic to my life since the entire conclusion of the movie is that Nuclear War, like tic-tac-toe, is one of those games that's unwinnable against qualified opponents. Thus the poor super computer realizes in the movie's catch phrase, "the only winning move ... is not to play." Boo-fucking-hoo, computer, but let me introduce you to my hell. In War Games at least he isn't losing. The computer simply realizes that some kinds of games cannot be won, my tragedy is that I can't even not lose when I gamble. I'd kill to be merely breaking even, but no, my choosing red predicts black at roulette, my hitting predicts bust in blackjack, and my calling predicts getting outdrawn in poker. I'm not just unlucky, I'm anti-lucky.
With that in mind, this week's picks will be made under the George Castanza philosophy. I will go game-by-game, explain who I think will win or cover or whatever, and then proceed to pick against them (the exception being the Redskins, who I will bet on every week). If even this fails, as it might since I'm bad enough at this to even break the flawless logic of George Castanza, we'll consider letting TexSkins represent us. This is where reader(s) wonder why someone with such bad football intuition gets or should get to blog about sports, and then I tell you that these aren't the droids you're looking for.
New York Jets at Baltimore Ravens (-11)
Last week I picked the Jets to upset the Patriots and I was wrooooooong. Baltimore didn't look that strong in their
win against loss to Cincy, so I'm married to the Jets until they prove me right. That's my pick, the Jets, and therefore we're going with the Ravens.
Houston Texans at Carolina Panthers (-6.5)
Texans are coming off a stronger win than I would've predicted and I don't know if they can lose by 7 points against a Panthers team that doesn't scare me at all. Mario Williams looks like a defensive star. I say the Texans will manage to at least lose by less than 7, therefore I'm going with the Panthers here.
Kansas City Chiefs at Chicago Bears (-12)
Kansas City was bad, awful last week against the Texans, but 12 points is a lot against Rex Grossman. With the Bears defense and questionable offense, this could be a low scoring affair which makes it difficult to see how one team loses to another by more than 12 points. Put differently, even if it's a one-sided affair, I could see this 10-3 or 14-3. Thus, I'm taking the Bears.
Cincinnati Bengals at Cleveland Browns (+6.5)
The Browns might be the worst team in football and the Bengals are going to destroy them. I think Carson Palmer is a better quarterback than Big Ben is, and he had a huge week against Cleveland. This game won't be close. Therefore...
Dallas Cowboys at Miami Dolphins (+3.5)
Cowgirls return a strong offense from the looks of it inspite of an injury to Terry Glenn though there are questions about the defense. Still, I've seen these Miami Dolphins and they aren't a good football team. The Cowboys should handle them by a touchdown at least.
Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos (-10)
I'll remain impressed with the Raiders defense in spite of them last week, and was surprised to see the Broncos struggle so against the Bills. This is like the Chicago game, where I just don't see a whole lot of scoring going on. Certainly not enough for the Broncos to out score the Raiders by 10 points.
Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions (-3)
Both teams beat up on weak opponents. The Lions gave up 21 points, though, to a horrid Oakland offense. I'll take defense in this game and pick the Vikings to win it. Therefore,
Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans (+7)
Titans surprised me last week against the Jags though you'd have to be insane to bet against the world champion Colts after their (most impressive) stomping of my beloved Drew Brees. The Colts are giong to win and win big here.
Atlanta Falcons at Jacksonville Jaguars(-10)
It hardly matters what the spread is here because I can't bet on the Falcons. Jacksonville has a good chance of pitching a shut out which would make it easy to outscore Atlanta by 10+ points.
San Diego Chargers at New England Patriots (-3.5)
Kind of the same deal with the Colts. I just have a hard time betting against the Patriots until they give me a reason not to. The Chargers are a great team, but they'll need to score more than 14 points to come close to this spread. I'll take the Patriots.
San Diego Chargers
New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+3.5)
Last week was bad for the Saints, but ditto the Bucs and Seattle isn't nearly as good as Indy. If there is an offense in the NFL that the Saints D can handle, it's the Bucs. This game will not be close.
Tampa Bay Bucs
Green Bay Packers at New York Giants (0)
The Giants surprised by putting up far more points against the Cowgirls than I would've imagined possible, and so I'm picking them until they give me a reason not to do so. The Packers lucked a win over the Eagles, which was impressive, but can they do it on the road? Giants will win. Who is Eli Manning?
Green Bay Packers
Buffalo Bills at Pittsburgh Steelers (-10)
My amigo at BTSC will appreciate my love for the Steelers. The Bills are a difficult team to measure just yet, but the Steelers come off a truly impressive victory (over an unimpressive foe, admittedly) and I'm giving them momentum at home.
Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals (+3)
NFC West is inept and dead to me. These last two picks were practically coin flips. I pick Seattle, and...
San Francisco 49ers at St.Louis Rams (-3)
San Fransisco 49ers
Washington Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5)
Your Washington Redskins