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People who cross the Redskins are necessarily stupid

Via (also Washington Posted) via PFT, meet one of America's Dumbest Criminals:

Several items were stolen from the home of former Washington Redskins running back Earnest Byner, including a replica of his Super Bowl ring, News4's Pat Collins reported.

The Byner family left for vacation during the first week of July, Collins reported. Police sources said Byner got a neighborhood teenager to watch his house and walk his dogs.

But when the Byners returned, they found a lot of things missing, Collins reported. Police sources said Byner went to the teenager and told him to just bring the items back and everything would be OK. But he didn't get all the items back, Collins reported...

One of the items still missing is a pendant that features a replica of the top of a 1992 Super Bowl ring. The pendant was made for his wife. It looks identical to his Super Bowl ring.

You. Dumb. Bastard. Had you stolen from me, I simply would have called the police and made it a legal matter. Ernest Byner is a bigger man than I, decides to cut you a break, and you effectively spit in his face by returning only partially your unlawful plunders. Of all the things you choose to not return, you happen to keep his ultra-specific spousal gift of the 1992 Super Bowl replica pendant, as if he'd simply forget that it was missing.
"It's kind of beyond me why someone would do this in the first place and, second, be given the break and opportunity to return this stuff and not do it," Loudoun County Sheriff Steve Simpson said. "There isn't a crime for stupidity, but if there was I think we'd have a charge here for that, that's for sure."
There damn well should be.

Ernest Byner led the team in rushing yards from 1990 to 1992 and joined the Redskins again in 2004 as the Running Backs Coach under Joe Gibbs, where he remains in that capacity today. Given that Clinton broke the all-time single season franchise rushing record in '05, and Ladell Betts exploded in '06 for a 1,000+ yard rushing season despite limited starts, I'd say he's doing a pretty fine job.

Kid. Give Ernest Byner his stuff back.