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If gambling is a disease then I am sick, sick, sick

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Ginormous (congratulations!) thanks to Dan Steinberg at The Bog for providing the gambling lines to me at work without having to navigate frequently blocked-access betting sites. He has the scoop on all your future Redskins heartbreak investments:

* The Redskins are 4-1 to win the NFC East (lowest in the division), 20-1 to win the NFC and 50-1 to win the Super Bowl, ahead of just nine teams. The over-under for their-regular season win total is 7.5.

* The Redskins are also three-point favorites Week 1 vs. the Dolphins; the over-under is 36.5 for that game. The Skins are +7 at the Eagles in Week 2, +3 at the Packers in Week 6 (lock!!!!), +10.5 at the Patriots in Week 8, +3 vs. the Bears in Week 14, +5.5 at the Giants in Week 15 and +2.5 vs. the Cowboys in Week 17. I couldn't find preseason lines. Sorry.

I'm a degenerate gambler, not in the sense that I break the bank with my loose spending (I don't have any money to spend) but rather because I'm horrible at it. I am the George Costanza of gambling; if I say lock, you should walk away.

Here's what I'd do:

  1. Do not take the NFC East at 4-1
  2. Do take the NFC at 20-1
  3. Do take the 50-1 for Super Bowl, because we're going!
  4. Walk away from the over/under
  5. Take us to beat the Dolphins on Week 1, but also the under
  6. Don't touch the Eagles bet until we've seen the Eagles
  7. Take Redskins against Packers, per Steinberg
  8. Do not touch Patriots game
  9. Do not touch the Bears game
  10. I guarantee victory over the Giants and Cowboys; take them
For the record, online gambling is illegal in these United States of America... illegal like a fox! Boooya!