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Clinton Portis is an Executive Cabinet of One

Per Mr. Irrelevant:

Even though I already own an Obama/Arenas '08 presidential tee as well as a Portis "Team of Character" joint, this is irresistible for any discerning liberal Skins fan:

With CP having formally announced his candidacy, we, the people, Hogs Haven, feel it is now appropriate to speculate on who might be named to the Presidential cabinet. Were we in charge of such things, we might suggest...

Secretary of State: Southeast Jerome
Secretary of the Treasury: Dolla Bill
Secretary of Defense: Sheriff Gonna Getcha
Attorney General: Inspector 2-2
Secretary of the Interior: Luscious
Secretary of Agriculture: Coconut Jones
Secretary of Commerce: Kid Bro Sweets
Secretary of Labor: Sweet Feet Jenkins
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Reverend Gonna Change
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Angel of Southeast Jerome
Secretary of Transportation: Dolamite Jenkins
Secretary of Energy: The Mad Scientist
Secretary of Education: Dr. Don't Know
Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Johnny White Guy
Secretary of Homeland Security: Coach Janky Spanky

Your suggestions are invited in the comments section.