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LaRon Landry's groin injury was no accident!

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Update [2007-6-18 13:21:33 by Skin Patrol]: Kissing Suzy Kolber has their own theories, though my personal favorite is Keith Hernandez, as that runs consistent with my JFK comparison.
The way this story is shaping up, the JFK assassination might not have anything on LaRon Landry and Paintballgate.

In a team-building excercise gone horribly wrong, LaRon Landry got kicked shot in the nuts playing paintball, and has since missed a good bit of practice due to the gingerly nature of the injury. Culprit was unidentified.

Accidents happen, though in a bizarre twist, this might not be an accident at all. Pro Football Talk has an admittedly unsubstantiated scoop on the fiasco, all of which is alleged at this point:

A guy who knows the person who owns the paintball park at which Redskins safety LaRon Landry got hit in LaDong with a tiny ball of paint says Landry had "shot" one of his Redskins teammates, knocking him out of the game.  Then, Landry walked up to the player, who was on the ground at the time, and proclaimed that he was going to finish him off, execution style.

The teammate then raised his paintball gun and shot Landry point-blank in the crotch.

Presuming truth for the sake of laughter, who is the culprit? We know it is a defensive back, though Running Redskins doubts it was Sean Taylor. I agree, because if Taylor targeted Landry for execution, he wouldn't have stopped with his nuts. Death by paintball(s).

As an admitted Law and Order junky, first order of business is establishing motive. Who benefits most from a groined LaRon Landry? Check the roster... Per the Times:

With the Redskins, Stoutmire likely will be the third safety behind Sean Taylor and LaRon Landry.
Or Pierson Prioleau?

I am joking, by the way. In spite of the surgical accuracy of the shot, and entertaining circumstances introduced by PFT, I am absolutely confident that no one on the team would purposefully injure another player, especially in this groin-grabbingly heinous nature. Surely man law precedent or some other imperative preempts targeting another's testicles, though announced paintball execution might take etiquette out of combat, if any existed in the first.

Personally, I wouldn't shoot another dude in the balls, on purpose at least. [ED. Unless something really super important hinged on the outcome as well, like my ego or the final score of a competitive paintball game.]

Deuce of Davenport, The Ball. His Groin. It Works On So Many Levels.