Update [2007-6-12 17:33:18 by Skin Patrol]: It doesn't stop.
In his like, fifth or more installment on the Commercial shoot, Dan Steinberg gets quotes from teammates and The Mustache himself towards conclusions that Jason Campbell is alternatively: country, citified, Mediterranean(?), count-ry, without "spunk", laidback, in possession of "Heely's without the wheels" whatever that means, and sounds like a teacher from Charlie Brown cartoons, per Santana Moss.
This DC Bog entry deserves a Pulitzer.
Update [2007-6-12 15:55:43 by Skin Patrol]: This story just keeps on
giving and giving. There is no end to how much entertaining crap Dan Steinberg can suck out of this tale of boogie-woogie. He is a model journalist, and citizen, in spite of his horrible taste in cars (see below).
Dan Steinberg [
ED. Someone has stolen
Dan's 1996 Dodge Caravan, for reasons that escape me. Dan says, "So if you see a blue 1996 Dodge Caravan around town, lemme know." I demand intrepid reader(s) track down this impossibly poor-tasted car thief toothpaste!]
reports on Eastern Automotive Group's new Redskins commercial. To give you a feel for what that entails:
Or the remix!
The article itself is chalk-full of quotes from the guys who showed up, namely: Antwaan Randle-El, Jason Campbell, and Santana Moss. Clinton Portis no-showed but Chief Zee was there.
First, some possible nicknames:
This year's dream team was dubbed "The Touchdown Makers" by Easterns Chairman Robert Bassam; it includes Antwaan Randle El (whose uniform read "The Transformer"), Santana Moss ("Moss Factor"), Willis McGahee ("Trouble") and Jason Campbell ("The Maestro"). The fifth spot was filled by Redskins icon Chief Zee, who showed up in full headdress and regalia. The shoot also included a bunch of technical folks, a few media members and two Easterns models whose combined clothing would not have covered a Chihuahua.
Hogs Haven only supports Antwaan Randle-El's nickname if it is in reference to Skin Patrol's beloved Transformers, which raised him as a child. If it is in reference to the
electrical energy transference unit, we vote hell to the no.
"Moss Factor" is a wash, as I have strong feelings neither for or against it, which probably makes it a poor alias candidate.
"The Maestro" is simply unacceptable, and I find it hard to believe that someone could come so close to sounding out the perfect nickname for our own Jesus Campbell without actually hitting the correct note: We feel strongly that The Mustache is the business and should be widely adopted posthaste.
The article is filled with glorious athlete anectodes, so much so that I'm nervous about quoting anything for fear that I'll have left out the juciest parts. Do I mention Antwaan Randle-El heckling Santana Moss (too many takes) and Jason Campbell ("too robotic") on their acting shortcomings? Or Santana's prognostication for the commercial's catchy jingle?
"That thing's gonna be in the clubs in a week," Moss predicted...
The players surrounding the Chief while chanting "Go Zee, Go Zee"? Joined by half-naked women? Can this video reach Youtube fast enough? No, the money line came from Antwaan Randle-El, and will be the last part of this
groundbreaking piece of Redskins' journalism that I will shamelessly rip-off, because you need to read the entire thing.
And the religious Randle El was ambivalent about the whole jingle; "I just don't like all the boogie woogie," he said, although the models maintained that he was the best dancer among the football players.
Dictionary.com reveals the origin of the term to be around 1925-1930 which, as far as I can tell, was the last time anyone used it. For serious Antwaan? "Boogie-woogie"?
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