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Clinton Portis guarantees an NFC Championship

Cut the laughter. While the NFC is currently the little sister of the AFC, an NFC championship is nothing to scoff at. Nothing says "I earned the right to get smoked by the AFC" better than a National Football Conference ring, donut, or whatever the deuce they award. No shame in that anyways -- do you really think history is going to forget that Hampton won the Mid-Eastern Athletic Conference last year? Not a chance.

Back to that guarantee -- hat tip to Ryan Wilson at AOL Fanhouse for alerting me to this notably premature prediction, per the Times (emphasis mine):

"I think this year we're going to make a lot of news. We went out and got what we needed. I actually think this will be our year. We're going to be in the NFC championship game. I guarantee that. Whatever that takes, we're going to get there."
Bases are covered as there's more than one way to skin an NFC championship -- purchasing tickets, for instance. But you know what? CP is taking us there competitively because he said so.
Plus, when Dr. I Don't Know says something with such conviction, you get the impression he, uh, knows something.
[editor's note, by Skin Patrol] In case you didn't know, Dr. I Don't know is one of Clinton Portis' many characters. Deadspin provides the magnificent details from November of 2005. They ask: "OK, why are we paying more attention to Terrell Owens than this guy?" The correct answer is crickets.