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Breaking news: 280 pound fullback loves burritos

Or so sayeth the Leesburg Times:

Washington Redskins fullback Mike Sellers is a self-proclaimed fan of ... burritos. The local NFL standout was on hand today as the latest California Tortilla franchise celebrated its grand opening in the Ashburn Village Shopping Center.

"There's a mutual friendship," cracked Sellers with a smile.

As far as I can tell that's the only kind of friendship that exists, as unreciprocated friendship kind of describes my relationship with Mike Sellers and, honestly, that's not a friendship at all. But I want to be your friend, Mike.

But why was Mike on hand?

The restaurant has become famous for its "goofiness" and offering one free burrito each week for one year to the first ten customers in line on opening day. Lunch specials today from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. and a dinner special from 5 to 8 p.m. offer free burritos to all customers.
So yea, that's a pretty damn good deal if you ask me. I'm kind of sort of (ok YA RLY) poor and could definitely use some delicious free burritos to save zee skrilla. But Mike Sellers? Or even the faux homeless kids pictured in the Leesburg article?

We're like, so poor we can afford to purchase expensive sleeping bags and not go to work on a weekday.

So while those kids will get no damned sympathy from me, I am a bit more willing to extend some to my friend favorite Fullback Mike Sellers. Segued...

Per PC, Mike Sellers is set to cost the team less than 1M in 2007 and is under contract through 2010. That salary never really goes up, either, as he'll cost just a wee bit over the Millenium Mark in the final year of his deal. He's the 27th most expensive player on the roster putting him in the bottom half of the 51 guys who actually count against the Salary Cap. The six year, 5M dollar contract he signed in 2005 is less overall than the 2007 cap hit we take from Marcus Washington, Cornelius Griffin, Shawn Springs, and Chris Samuels. None of this is to say that those guys aren't deserving of their contracts, rather I just want to applaud my friend Mike Sellers for providing so much hurt (to opponents) for so little mazuma. Today we Hail to you, Mike Sellers. Get that guy some delicious burritos.

No story is too small for Hogs Haven, especially on quiet news cycles.