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Gregg Easterbook hates you

By Skin Patrol

I was introduced to Gregg Easterbrook by his 1994 piece "Blacktop Basketball and The Bell Curve" which alleged, dubiously, that Gregg Easterbrook's basketball skills improved over time. Anyone who has been reading his weekly Tuesday Morning Quarterback for an extended period of time knows that the opposite is true; Gregg Easterbrook is an enigma in that he gets worse with practice. Whereas TMQ used to be a weekly must read where Football was covered extensively with the occasional interesting non-football related tidbit, now he's just repeating himself on the same tired Football and not-football related issues. This point was made most convincingly by the geniuses at Kissing Suzy Kolber in this hilarious parody of TMQ. A must read.

The fact is I still read TMQ every week because I just can't bring myself to stop. I don't know what it is. After every painful term-paper sized column I convince myself that it was a huge waste of time and that, maybe, next week will be different. And there I am again...

My largest complaint with Mr. Easterbrook is that he hates the Redskins. And I don't mean that in the "I'm just an ultra defensive fan who cannot take any criticism therefore the media is out to get my team [and my team only]" way. I mean that Gregg Easterbrook quite literally hates this football team. He is down on the spending, down on the franchise, down on everything. It's difficult for him to go a week without criticizing the Redskins. I have no doubt in my mind that he's burning an effigy of Joe Gibbs as we speak.

In any event, criticism hurts the most when it's true and there's much to be critical of over this Football team. Most recently, TMQ:

Tis Better to Have Rushed and Lost Than Never to Have Rushed At All No. 1: Trailing 21-16 with five minutes remaining, Washington reached second-and-goal on the Philadelphia 3. The Redskins must get a touchdown here; they're playing at home, with crowd energy and their glamorous cheerleaders dancing in little more than Santa hats; to this point, Washington had averaged 5.3 yards per rush; pound the ball straight ahead against the Eagles' 29th-ranked rush defense, and six points are likely. Instead, incompletion by novice quarterback Jason Campbell, then sack as Campbell sprints backward away from the objective, then field goal. Washington never touched the ball again.
First off notice the title. When we say that TMQ is repeating himself into irrelevance, we mean it; he simply cuts-pastes the same bold headlines into each week's TMQ and finds a scenario that vindicates him. As if this were a difficult task; there's 14-16 games played per week so one of his repeated Football laws is bound to come true. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Now, about that drive... he's right. Ladell Betts could've pounded it in on 2nd down. Jason Campbell had to come out to pass on the next down because a penalty made it 3rd and eight (hardly a run situation) but a run on 2nd down would've made more sense. Curse you, Tuesday Morning Quarterback. Curse you...

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