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This story has nothing to do with the Redskins

[editor's note, by Skin Patrol] indulge me only for a moment to comment on a non-Redskin, totally blog/blogger/nerd-alert related story that should interest only those of us with websites that post anonymously or semi-anonymously. If you don't want to read it, please don't. I curse a lot.

Kissing Suzy Kolber is one of my favorite websites. Unsilent Majority aka Jack Kogod is one of my favoritest bloggers in all the internets, and he writes for KSK. He's also about as strong a Redskins fan as exists, anywhere, ever, in history. One of his blogging colleagues is Christmas Ape who also happened to be a real journalist for the Washington Post, up until he ousted himself as the kind of totally unprofessional immoral monster that would dare consume alcohol. Full details are here.

The truncated versions of events is:

  1. Christmas Ape is totally awesome on KSK for a long time.
  2. During this time, Christmas Ape also writes and works for the Washington Post, I have no idea how awesome he is at doing that, I've never read his articles.
  3. KSK gets purchased and is now legit and can fund its bloggers.
  4. Bloggers begin coming out of the (blogging) closet -- former Redskin Michael Westbrook freaks shit and checks behind his shoulder -- by shedding anonymity. Something like this happened.
  5. Christmas Ape exposes himself to the world as a blogger and a responsible human being.
  6. In the offending post he admits he was "totally fucking hammered", which is not only morally normal behavior but Constitutionally protected. The 21st Amendment to the Constitution reads: If your team goes to the Super Bowl and you are at the game and you aren't fucking hammered, it's your ass, and we mean serious old school your ass, like Article III Section 3 Corruption of Blood shit.
  7. Ok so there is some dispute about whether he was fired or resigned.
I don't really have a horse in this race since it appears Christmas Ape is better off anyways for the firing. My only problem is that the fact a guy who happens to be employed somewhere gets drunk at the Super Bowl is even remotely controversial reflects a terrifying level of insecurity that is cultural pervasive. Would I be "fucking hammered" if I were at a Super Bowl in which the Redskins were participating? Yea, even if I were 117 years old, so long as there is alcohol in my veins I'll up its blood content in celebration of the Redskins going to the Super Bowl. I got drunk when we beat the Cardinals last year, for chrissake. I guess I'll be jobless forever, which surely serves the greater good as a bunch of drunk, unemployed, foam parrot hugging lunatics wandering the streets from 9 to 5 is just what this country needs more of.

I don't know whether it was Seymour Lipset or Richard Lamm or Jared Diamond or Arnold Toynbee, but whoever said that societies never die from murder, only suicide, just about had it right. The Washington Post is an American Institution of note. If succumbing to the grape at the Super Bowl -- and, really, would anything less be appropriate???? I wouldn't trust anyone who doesn't drink at the Super Bowl! -- is this culture's idea of morally corrupt behavior, then we've already pulled the trigger.

Bla. Back to Redskins.

0 recs  |  Comment 8 comments

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What I don't get...
is the idea that a sports reporter got fired for being drunk at a Super Bowl.

Aren't sports reporters notorious for being... ummm... drunks?  If not drunks, then really, really liking the sauce?

I guess I can understand firing him for being a blogger on the side... as the newspaper (rightly or, as I see it, wrongly) sees blogging as a rival medium.

I guess that's why the blogosphere hides behind blog names and the like.  

P.S.  I have pictures of Skin Patrol doing very bad things.  Things that involve copious amounts of ... GASP ... alcohol.  Look for them in the near future.

by TexSkins on Apr 17, 2008 4:31 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Again, the better question,
would you hire a guy who was sober at the Super Bowl? I wouldn't!

by Skin Patrol on Apr 17, 2008 4:37 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I doubt the SB picture was the issue
My guess (which is purely that) is that the Post went back through the archive of KSK and looked at some of his posts. While I think KSK might be the funniest sport blog out there, it's also one of the raunchiest. My guess is an editor looked back and didn't like an employee writing stuff that might be controversial or offensive to some. Especially when he never told anybody at the Post he was doing it.

If he got canned for drinking at the Super Bowl, that's BS. But I don't think that's what happened.

by McBride33 on Apr 17, 2008 6:33 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

That's way too logical...
and certainly not fun.

Welcome.  Kick off your shoes and stay a while.

by TexSkins on Apr 17, 2008 7:13 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think you have to be correct
but, unfortunately, mere disagreement with the content at a site of one of its employees isn't as controversial an ending to the story as bouncing him for getting "fucking hammered" at the Super Bowl, so I went with the lowest common denominator.

That said... I think it is absolutely remarkable and a testament to the influence of KSK that Christmas Ape's content there would jeopordize his position at the WaPo. I don't think this thing goes the way it did if Ape posts the picture on his Blogger site that no one visits. KSK gets attention, and this is evidence of it. I also don't think CA was ever under any moral obligation to disclose to his employer that he posted at a website; that's his business. He made it their business to a certain degree when he outed himself, but he's a journalist, not a politician, and what he does in his free time -- so long as he wasn't doing anything illicit -- is largely irrelevant to the job he performs.

Good to have you at the site and I think your comments are spot on. Cheers.

by Skin Patrol on Apr 17, 2008 7:37 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hey SP...
if we posted drunken pictures, think we would get fired?  Or possibly not hired in the future?

Would it have been any different if he had posted them on some sort of Myspace/Facebook/etc page?

This story has, what they call in his former industry, legs.

by TexSkins on Apr 17, 2008 8:45 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re:
Disingenuously I like to say that I wouldn't work for anyone who wouldn't hire a drunk.

In reality, the unfortunate truth is that what happened to Ape is becoming quite common. I have every intention of deleting both my facebook and myspace accounts (harmless, I assure you) before re-entering the workplace. And we were told to consider moderating such websites... at Law School orientation.

I think that turn is unfortunate, but I guess those is the ropes. The internet allows you to communicate broadly with people you previously never could've reached. Like employers. Inadvertently.

I don't list this website on my resume because then employers would know I'm the kind of petty, immature person that would call a total stranger a penis melt sandwich. I really love this website, and it's unfortunate that sometimes I have to wonder whether it will one day prevent me from doing something, anything, that I want professionally. That shit blows.

by Skin Patrol on Apr 17, 2008 9:10 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

That's why I've already decided...
to make myself unhirable by persuing a degree that has no practical application nor any sort desirable skill set.  I am, as it were, a man without any practical (read: hirable) skills.

I choose to be a bum because I despise the alternative.  

You, on the otherhand, might actually become legit one day.  More power to you.

by TexSkins on Apr 17, 2008 10:12 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

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