Redemption now spelled: Ethan Albright

by Skin Patrol on Jan 24, 2008 7:19 PM EST

Reader(s) are asked to recall this ESPN Page 2 Article pointing out that our very own Ethan Albright, the Red Snapper himself, was once considered of low quality by a video game:

Ethan Albright is good at his job. Very good. In fact, the Washington Redskins' long snapper is probably better at what he does -- blindly hurling a ball between his legs, under extreme duress, with zero margin for error -- than most of us will ever be at anything....

Within the pixilated world of the popular NFL video game, Albright isn't merely another anonymous special teamer. No such luck. According to the game's Byzantine individual skill ratings -- which measure everything from foot speed to spin-move ability to a player's effect on team morale -- he's the hands-down, rock-bottom worst player in the NFL.

Worst player... like a fox!

At the time, Albright faked apathy:

"Honestly, I don't know what to say about the Madden ratings," Albright says with a laugh. "Some guys are into it. I'm not. Doesn't register with me at all. Rate me whatever, I don't care."

Though, more likely than not, he cried himself to sleep and cursed the game's creators nightly while promising to prove them wrong on the field.

One commenter noted that it was strange that any person could rank as low as Ethan in some categories:

It's also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast.

That criticism was right on, and now Madden will forever regret underrating the greatest snapper in the entire NFL. Congratulations are in order for Ethan Albright; he's going to the Pro Bowl:

The Redskins' veteran long snapper has been named to the 2008 Pro Bowl, the Redskins announced on Thursday.

It is the first Pro Bowl nod for Albright--and the first time the Redskins have had a long snapper make the Pro Bowl.

He, along with fellow Redskins Pro Bowlers Chris Cooley and Chris Samuels, will be sporting #21 jerseys in honor of the Meast. More details on that here.

In other news, the team signed 14 players. Here is the guy who will actually make the team:

Byron Westbrook, CB
Westbrook signed with the Redskins in May 2007 as an undrafted rookie free agent. He spent last season on the practice squad and mimicked his brother Brian on the scout team in preparation for games against the Philadelphia Eagles. The 5-10, 194-pounder played his college ball at Salisbury. He is a Washington, D.C. native.

Huh. So were these guys signed in anticipation of cuts due to financial difficulty or is this just filling a roster now that those pesky limits aren't in place? More importantly, who signed off on these guys? I'm not sure who Executive Vice President-Football Operations Vinny Cerrato (a substantial promotion, reader(s) will remember, from his former title in 2005 of "vice president of football operations," see, once you get to just old plain V.P. of Football Operations, there's no place else to go from there, where can you go from there? Where? Executive -- these go to eleven, etc.) ran the decision by since we don't have a HC, we don't even apparently have an OC or DC or decided waterboy as far as I can tell. Were these 14 names the exclusive decision of Vinny Cerrato? Can we have fucked up the coaching search more?

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Comments

How do you choose...

who the "best" long snapper in the NFC and/or AFC is? It baffles me.

And does a "Pro Bowl" long snapper get a bigger signing bonus? Does this honor take Albright out of Washington because of financial reasons?

by TexSkins on Jan 24, 2008 8:46 PM EST reply actions

ANSWERS:

Hair color, no, no

Go Register. Or else.

by Skin Patrol on Jan 24, 2008 8:56 PM EST up reply actions

I meant because he's a FA...

will he get a "bigger" FA contract because of his Pro Bowlness... ?

by TexSkins on Jan 24, 2008 10:00 PM EST up reply actions

HE DESERVES ONE!

But nah, I doubt it. He's a great long snapper, but he's also a tenured league veteran. There are plenty of cheaper long snappers available, and I doubt anyone is going to force us to pen him to a multi-year deal just to keep him. In any event, I think Ethan Albright is the kind of guy who is very content in his position, lives in DC, family man, and he won't be transplanted for pennies on the dollar. If he leaves, and this is just my opinion, he leaves for bank. And teams won't pay bank for an old long snapper who will cost them over 800K a year by rule.

Go Register. Or else.

by Skin Patrol on Jan 24, 2008 10:29 PM EST up reply actions