Global warming a net gain for Washington area football fans

by Skin Patrol on May 24, 2007 11:54 AM EDT in Miscellaneous Comment 9 comments

Jerry Jones has the Super Bowl for ~~Dallas~~ Arlington in 2011 thanks in no small part to the lobbying efforts of former Dallas Cowboys' QB Roger Staubach. Hat tip to Dan Steinberg for patrolling the Washington Times for this Dan Daly article on a potential future FedEx Super Bowl bid. Daly reminds that those efforts are likely hampered by the cowardly league's reluctance to schedule a Super Bowl at cold weather (or potentially cold weather) stadiums lacking a dome, and suggests global warming as one of a number of creative solutions to the problem. True, while global warming (and to remain politically neutral this blog allows for an "alleged" caveat, if need be) has net losers, the desertification of Washington D.C., presuming the ocean doesn't swallow us, would present an excellent opportunity to legitimately bid on a Super Bowl. Also The Day After Tomorrow would probably, like, take Miami and Tampa with it, along with some sunny and enviable real estate on the west coast. That represents less competition to bid against.

Waiting on fossil fuel usage and deforestation and greenhouse gases or whatever causes (or allegedly causes) global warming isn't necessarily a pro-active approach to securing a D.C. Super Bowl, so Daly also suggests adding a dome or hoody or whatever on top of Fed Ex field.

Me, I kind of like the idea of the Redskins moving back to the city into a new stadium. I'm anti-dome though will happily hear arguments in favor in the comments section from plucky reader(s) who feel strongly on the topic. A retractable roof of some kind would be my preference, used only to draw a Super Bowl bid. The roof will "malfunction" anyways after all the party-people show up for an SB, so no big shakes. I consider weather an important factor in the game of football.

So the Nationals ditch RFK come 2008 and we move right on to that site with a brand spanking new stadium that seats 110,000 (just to top the Cowboys). The stadium has no trouble selling out in virtue of impressive back-to-back Redskins Super Bowl victories in 2007 and 2008. Afterwards the nation unanimously agrees that Joe Gibbs is the greatest coach in NFL history while he calls Skin Patrol directly to congratulate me on acquisition of the team, enabled by a series of suspiciously fortunate Mega Millions lottery victories turning me into a multi-millionaire, which I parlay into a billion dollar fortune by betting the house on the Redskins every week in their 2008 undefeated season. Afterwards yours truly takes all the Hogs Haven regulars out for delicious adult beverages and we reminisce on our prior cyncisim of 2007 with a good chuckle and jumping high fives.

Who is with me?

AOL Fanhouse, Will Washington, DC Ever Host a Super Bowl?

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Comments

There is no way they move...

unless taxpayers build them a new stadium. It might be more practical to add a retractable roof to FedEx.

Living in the Houston area, all the stadiums are retractable roof, which probably gave them the edge to be the host of the Super Bowl a few years back. On nice days, when the roofs open, it feels just like an open air stadium... not as wide open as FedEx, but you definately feel like you're outdoors. Even in the smaller baseball-only Minute Maid Park, when the roof's open it doesn't feel closed in at all...

I saw a few football and baseball games at the AstroDome and the experience just isn't the same. Any new staduim that isn't a retractable roof just doesn't make sense to me...

P.S. Domes are a thing of the past, as is the old AstroTurf. With all the different types of field turf, there is no reason to have that old injury-causing turf anymore.

by TexSkins on May 24, 2007 12:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Something else to keep in mind

I'm pretty sure the Redskins are married to a contract with Fed Ex that would be very difficult to get out of anytime soon.

Go Register. Or else.

by Skin Patrol on May 24, 2007 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

The "p" word

I'll insert "sissies" since I'm not sure how far I can go here. Being a "purist" of sorts, I get beside myself when I think of how soft the game has gotten from every concievable standpoint. The DC area would be very conducive to such a huge event, but heaven fornid we should actually have a classic battle in less than the "so-called perfect" weather. Godd God, is it really that serious that someone not have to shiver in their fresh gators?

by JustinU804 on May 24, 2007 2:46 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

You can say pussy here.

In light of recent events regarding members of our team and their questionable comments regarding the treatment of animals, I think we should embrace pussies and dogs alike at Hogs Haven (named after men named after pigs).

Go Register. Or else.

by Skin Patrol on May 24, 2007 2:52 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

haha

best subject line ever.

by smutsboy on May 24, 2007 4:23 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

For the record

I'm going to go outside and curse til lightning strikes because I just had to face the modern NFL again.

by JustinU804 on May 24, 2007 2:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Back in my day...

Like the time we went over to shelbyville during the war, I wore an onion on my belt....which was the style at the time...you couldnt get those white ones, you could only get those big yellow ones...now where was I....oh yeah, the important thing was I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time, you couldnt get those...(trails off)

"It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times!!!?? Stupid Monkeys!" ---Montgomery Burns

by Chimp Rage on May 24, 2007 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs