This is extremely lazy of me but I can't find anything news worthy to note (maybe I'm not looking very hard). Consider this prime time to get diaries promoted as I'm jonesing for content but incapable of producing any. In the interim, you can enjoy any one of three videos:

1. Todd Yoder reenacting a Chris Cooley zit pop. There is some hyperbole in there, as I simply do not believe zit puss can travel across an entire lockerroom, but a great story nonetheless.
2. That said, Chris Cooley has some serious distance:
   

3. Chipmunks sing Crank Dat Redskins Boy. Might be the most annoying thing that's happened in the 21st century:

I'm not a good blogger today.

So I was just cruisng around THE GREATEST WEBSITE IN HISTORY when I stumbled upon an ESPN Magazine video of Clinton Portis vs. Christy Ogilvie (Chris Cooley's fiancee, pronounced fy-ants) in a game of who knows Cooley best where he reveals:

1. He is awesome at drawing naked women (both Christy and Portis are awarded points)
   
2. Clinton Portis thinks Chris Cooley's favorite food is fried snails.
   
3. Clinton Portis thinks Name That Tune is Chris Cooley's favorite game show, which hasn't aired since like 1960 and has failed no fewer than three times in being revived.
   
4. Cooley would play Deal or No Deal, and his strategy, predictably genius and sound, would be to keep the hottest women around to give him his $1 million. Even though I don't think anyone has ever won, Chris Cooley would definitely win.
   
5. Clinton Portis sleeps during meetings; Cooley draws pictures of naked women. This is why we made the playoffs.

AOL Fanhouse, Redskins' Chris Cooley Is Awesome at Drawing Naked Women

Part of the Sammy Baugh fan club series and complete with tacky music.

Artist Jason Swain recently produced a large Sean Taylor oil painting that is, I'm told, currently hanging up at the Children's Hospital (ostensibly the one in DC). Per Jason:

Also at The Redskin Report.

Don't say I never taught you anything.

While Mr. Irrelevant no doubt owns the vintage commercial market, also found at The Bog and Fanhouse, my wayback machine works even better. First enjoy the Oscar worthy acting performance of Art Monk, Gary Clark, and Darrell Green (is he in the locker or isn't he? I'm riveted!)

There is nothing preempting another meeting of minds such as the one above in the 21st century. Gary Clark, D. Green, and The Monk are all alive and well and should they awake tomorrow with the urge to shill for Pizza Hut, you'd be talking yourself into a delicious anchove pizza at this moment.

Hogs Haven is a champion for those that can't defend themselves, though, and those three behemoths of football need no blog to defend their right to sell products. I support the little guy, the honest, small business tobacco conglomerate who, per the Public Health Cigarette Smoking Act, haven't been allowed to legally advertise their wears on the talking picture box since 1971. Apparently cigarettes are "bad" for you.

Please enjoy this educational video circa 1958 (VINTAGE!!!) which informs, among other things, that the Green Bay Packers are represented by a lunatic with an axe and the Cleveland Browns are represented by a flexing goblin. Also, the phrase "you get better makin's" doesn't "makin's" much damn sense. You get better makin is with marlboro?

AOL Fanhouse, 1958 Commercial: 'Where You Find Pro Football, You Find Marlboro Cigarettes'
Shutdown Corner, The NFL, brought to you by cigarettes and racism
MVN Outsider, Ah, The Memories: Football, Racism, And Cigarettes

The Bog is going overtime bringing you sweet Jim Zorn related minutiae by the minute. I can't simply steal all Dan's posts. Or can I? First, he's got Jim Fassel being a prick (but he's right!) so sayeth CBS Sportsline. Emphasis is all mine, though it probably helps to read the bolded portions imagining Jim Fassel spitting while saying them, or scouling heavily, or swaying erratically whilst clutching a tiki doll so ferociously his nails begin to crack:

Ryan Wilson at AOL Fanhouse has a video of Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon discussing the recent death of Sean Taylor. They cover a pretty large range, so I don't want to limit their discussion to this or that, but what confused me about the interview boils down to these two quotes, taken completely out of context:

In any event, here's my issue with the general sentiment above, that we're going to, in the future, "find out things that are not flattering to all the people involved"... First, initially, well fucking DUH. We're going to find out who murdered Sean Taylor. And the fact that that person murdered Sean Taylor will not reflect flatteringly on said shithead.

More importantly, if Tony is suggesting that we're going to find out something unflattering about Sean Taylor, would it really kill you, as a columnist and pundit opposed to a reporter, to actually wait for those future facts to come to light?

Even more importantly, I'm interested to hear what that fact pattern could possibly be that will reflect poorly on a guy who was murdered in his own home? Is Tony suggesting that we'll find out the guy who murdered Sean Taylor was his drug dealer? Is that the kind of fact we're talking about? Out of respect for the player, I think we all have a responsibility not to speculate on imaginary bad-behavior on the part of Sean until facts are actually in.

On an unrelated note, I predict that in 17 days a story will break in the Washington Times that Tony Kornheiser molested 2,774 children at a Hotel in East Timor. Don't ask me how I know that, I exist to write my opinion, therefore I can speculate on facts yet reported.

More likely, and I've read this elsewhere, I think what Tony is suggesting is that we'll find out Sean Taylor had some connection with the murderer, that he was either a jealous old friend of the kind Antre Rolle was talking about or perhaps he was one of the people involved in the prior ATV incident. Even were that the case, and it certainly appears like that's a possibility given the circumstances of the crime, why on earth would that reflect poorly on Sean Taylor? That the piece of shit who stole Sean Taylor's ATVs knew Sean, was retaliating against him for beating his ass, doesn't mean he was right or justified in doing so. It just means that the piece of shit was a thief and a murderer. There's this crazy assumption that Sean Taylor was somehow wrong to confront the people who stole from him. Perhaps he was wrong to "simple assault" them, but that's 2nd degree misdemeanor wrong. Not, you-brought-this-vicious-murder-on-yourself-you-horrible-delinquent, wrong.

Did you know? Under Florida Statute, adultery is also a 2nd degree misdemeanor. 798.01. Living in open adultery reads:

Also, there is nothing currently on record that shows Sean "had brandished weapons" at anyone. What is on record is a simple battery and simple assault charge he plead no contest to, and the elements of those crimes under Florida law do not include the presence of a gun, whereas an element of aggravated assault and battery is the presence of a deadly weapon. The aggravated assault charge was dropped. The State of Florida does not believe that Sean Taylor had a gun at the ATV incident, per their decision to drop the aggravated assault charge. Isn't it possible that Sean Taylor, consistent with what he said even after the plea bargain, never had a gun at that fight?

To Wilbon I'd say much of the same. I'd also add that if I'm "going to hear things that happened to one of your heroes... hear things that involved one of your heroes..." it will necessarily include him defending his home and family against murderers with a machete. And that impresses me. I mean really, truly, absolutely impresses me, damn near regardless of the circumstances. Short of breaking news that Sean Taylor was killed because he drew the ire of a kitten-loving syndicate once they found fields of kitten harvesting buried beneath his basement and farmed by aliens, I doubt there's much that will be said about Sean Taylor that's going to sully my opinion of him (and I hate kittens). Will it be revealed, OH NO!, that Sean Taylor hung out with rough people? And?

As a human being, isn't he entitled to select his company without fear of being murdered? Finally, isn't he entitled to the benefit of the doubt until these mysterious facts yet reported come to light? Especially considering the now proven history of people accusing Sean Taylor of doing things (DUI, aggravated assault) he didn't actually do?

Lee Gibbons knows what I'm talking about.

I doubt Jason Whitlock does, though.

I think Mike Freeman gets it.

Here's the video, which allows me to segue into another topic worth discussing: Dan Steinberg apparently hates me.

So there is a Chief Zee interview from a day ago on YouTube, where you'll learn, among other things, that Chief Zee is in the Hall of Fame representing Your Washington Redskins as the greatest fan in the game.

Additional video of Chief Zee available at The Bog opening with what I believe to be famous Redskins fan Blondie from Extreme Skins, who had a good looking tailgate going down at Texas Stadium that I neglected to show up to. I cannot believe I missed that.

I'm also pretty sure I missed Chief Zee at the game though I think I saw him for a fleeting moment. I commented to my girlfriend that Chief Zee just walked by which got me into a very civil discussion with a Cowboys fan at the game who had great reverance for the man; I offered my condolences for their loss of Crazy Ray. That those two great fans, with such divergent tastes in franchises, could get along so well is a solid story that makes me proud to be a fan of the game. Crazy Ray is missed.

Dan Steinberg also has some pictures from the game and confirms that there was indeed a Redskins started chant in Texas Stadium:

The Bog has an exciting link to an excited George Michael going absolute bat-shit on Brandon Lloyd. I thought it was so fantastically crazy that I felt like transcribing the entire thing; NUTS I say, absolutely nuts. (But we're all thinking it!) Link to the video here.

Here is my transcription. The parts in [brackets] [might] have been [added by me].

George Michael: You know Brandon Lloyd was not allowed to make the trip to New York. I take personal heat every week from guys [and I am going to kill all your mothers]. Brandon Lloyd I want you to pay attention to me please [because I'm fucking crazy, man]. This pass was for you, sir. This pass was to you. You made those catches all the time [but not really, maybe like, 25 percent of the time]. You haven't done it with the Redskins. You haven't earned your money. You blow[.] the meeting you don't show up and you don't get to make the trip. That pass should've been caught by you, Brandon Lloyd. They are paying you millions [on top of the millions you are already guaranteed]. Now look, I know that Gibbs told you go sit away come back another day [and to build something out of clay]. Now here's the deal, Brandon you have not earned a dollar since you've been here. So the way you apologize is, you come in tomorrow[... get out your fucking checkbook! (ATTENTION: this video is NSFW or anywhere, really, you was warned!)

]

you bring one million dollars[...

]

wha- I'm dead serious[, 'yotch]! You bring one million dollars to Joe Gibbs, you make it out to Redskins charity, you give the money back that you haven't earned. If you play well the rest of this year, you get the million back [which I guess we will take from whatever charity we gave the cool mil to]. If you don't play well, then leave town and go back to San Fransisco, but they don't want you out there [so I don't know why I can't make any sense]. Brandon, I take this personal [checks or cash] cause I love you so[, so] much and I've been so[, so] positive and I take hea[r]t [you <3 <3 <3 Brandon be my valentine]. Bring in a million tommorrow, beg Gibbs for forgiveness[, and your life]. If you don't, you don't belong on this team. Now then, for the next subject[, let's discuss where the shit my meds went].

Bugel: Woo hoo! Wow George. I'm gonna be on your side all the time, believe me.

George Michael: I'm mad. How much time I have, Bev?

Someone: Did you see the game last night, George?

George Michael: I'm mad. I'm furious cause you guys give me grief all the time cause I believe in him. Now earn your money, put up the money or hit the road... [END Transcript]

I love George Michael.