via www.laughinggame.com

NAW NAW NAW NAW NAW I'm just kidding nothing like that. But shenanigans nonetheless:

Perhaps [Jason Taylor's] best feat was lacing my[, Colt Brennan's,] helmet and visor with Vaseline, which meant I spent the practice in a slippery helmet and no visor, because I couldn’t see out of it (the Vaseline took forever to wipe off).

This is the tragedy of bad circumstance that has become Colt Brennan's life, as the cruel Football Gods put his locker betwixt Jason Taylor and Chris Cooley. It's a trap.

Even dogs know better: don't shit the bed. But we did.

What this isn't is some NcNabb-like attempt at taking something away from the St. Louis Rams. They won. We lost, but our losing was incidental to their winning, and not an explanation of it. There's really no point discussing whether or not one team is better than the other, as the matter was settled on a field favorable to us, unfavorably. The Redskins are: 0-1 against the St. Louis Rams.

What this also isn't is my complete thoughts on the game. I've been either flying or in airports for the last 8 hours. I'm exhausted. I did not have access to the game and thus, like I imagine most people had to do back in the middle ages, received all my information on the game exclusively second hand from strangers wandering about. What is that, you say? Field goal kills game? Fuck, there I said it.

I am cranky and not at all composed. But, my brief box scored postgame thoughts are as follows:

• If you want to explain a 19-17 loss at home against a team most observers thought you were destined to defeat, look no further than 3:1, which is our turnovers:their turnovers. Uhh, I don't even know if that's right. I look at NFL.com's total turnovers and it says we have three. I click to the box score and it says four players fumbled and lost the ball: Campbell, Pete Kendall, Casey Rabach, and Chris Cooley.
• Who is not to blame? Clinton Portis, who said winning FedEx Ground Player of the Week for his performance against Philly just wasn't enough. His numbers were a Fantasy Football wet dream: 21 carries, 129 yards, 2 touchdowns. No fumbles.
• There is no such thing as a moral victory, as people only claim them against tangible, real, actual loss. One can have better statistics than the opposing team, though they are meaningless. But, in case you're curious, we had more TOP, 168 more yards (or, 84% more yards than the opposing team), fewer penalties and golly I don't feel the least bit better about what. just. happened. Teams that protect footballs win. Teams that don't lose. St. Louis protected the football better.
• There is a player in this league with the last name Incognito? And we know that because he called attention to himself by saying something naughty to a ref? You will read about this.
• Everyone who fumbled should be ashamed, whoever you are. Pete Kendall is better than that. Casey Rabach is better than that. Jason Campbell wasn't better than that last year, but let's get over it. Chris Cooley is definitely better than that.
• Not to be fatalistic, but I sure hope this team wasn't looking past the St. Louis Rams. Our net points thus far in the season is 9 points, which is two points lower than it was going into this game. We haven't handled anybody, yet. The difference between a 4-2 Redskins team and an 0-6 Redskins team is, really, 20 points. We need to settle down.
• What was medium about this game?

I really shouldn't be writing extensively about a game I didn't watch, especially while cranky. This is where you guys can complain about the results, we'll try and explain them together throughout the week. I'm not feeling especially lined with silver, but we're still 4-2, meh.

You guys know the scoop. Turf Show Times contributor and author 3k was kind enough to exchange some questions with me earlier today on the upcoming game. See:

Hogs Haven: What happened? Two years ago you guys are a .500 team, then 3-12, now 0-4. Defense has remained steady (which is to say, meh) but the offense has just collapsed. Who is the finger pointed out? Bulger? Linehan? Someone else?

Turf Show Times: That is a difficult question to answer in under 10,000 words.  In my view (and this is one that has been lightly contested among the faithful), responsibility rests at the top.  For me, this franchise has been wrecked by the mismanagement of our GM, Jay Zygmunt. Zygmunt was a money man (and a great one, to be fair), but his ascendancy to the GM position has ruined our team.  The two reasons you can look at this team and say, "Two years ago you guys are a .500 team," is the weakness of the division overall and the fact that we were two years younger.  As we've aged, the Niners and Cardinals have continued to develop their teams, and are reaping the early benefits.  So to point the finger at someone for two years of decline across the franchise, I point all ten fingers at Zygmunt. If I've got to blame a unit on the field, it's the O-line.  Last year, our front 5 were decimated by injuries; this year, they're just playing piss poor.  Hopefully, Jim Haslett (newly promoted Head Coach) will solidify the personnel up front and cement the chemistry on the front line to get the offense on solid footing.

HH: Not a lot of people are giving the Rams much of a chance in this game, but then again no one was giving us a chance against the Cowboys, either. I think to win these big upsets the underdog has to play pretty much flawlessly in every aspect of their game and play way above their heads in one or two parts of the game. What thing or things do the Rams need to do superlatively to win against the 'Skins this coming Sunday?

TST: It's hard to pick one thing with a team that has played so poorly in so many areas.
  If I could nail it down to three, it would be the following:
- 1 - Better protection: without time, Bulger can't produce.  Without lanes, Steven Jackson can't run.  Without a productive offense, it's hard to win.
- 2- Pass defense: If there's one thing I'm willing to forgive the Rams so far this season, it's rush defense.  In the Eagles, Giants, Bills, we've faced three solid rushing attacks.  With the pass, however, many of us believed the Rams would be able to defend the pass this year with the combination of Fakhir Brown, Tye Hill, and Ron Bartell at CB with OJ Atogwe in the back.  As it stands now, Brown was released from the team in the turmoil at the end of Linehan's tenure, Hill has looked absolutely confused on the field, and Bartell has been less reliable than last year.  The secondary has to step it up, or Santana Moss, Randle-El and Chris Cooley are going to look like Hall of Famers.
- 3 - (And this one is most important) - Play with emotion: One of the things that was so striking about the first four games of this season was how little the Rams appeared to care that they were getting blown out.  The philosophy or mentality or whatever you want to call it that defined the team had become infected with indifference.  Now that Jim Haslett has the reins, he has to prove that the Rams want to play.  We've seen it with players like Steven Jackson and Chris Long, but football is a team game and every single player on the field has to go full out.

HH: Most people don't have a hard time accusing Steven Jackson of being one of the best running backs in the league. He's struggling a bit right now; is that the result of general team woes or is he different as a result of injury? What is the team not doing with him right now that they were doing with him in, say, 2006?

TST: It's the offensive line, which, to use the classic football joke, has been offensive.  The kinds of holed that allowed Jackson to show a rare combination of power, agility and athleticism have shrunk.  The ground unit is coming off their best game so far which saw Jackson plow for 110 yards.  For three quarters, the Rams were able to hang with the Bills, taking a 14-13 lead into the final frame, but an all-too-familiar scene saw the Bills open the 4th with an interception return for a TD and a touchdown pass to Lee Evans on the next drive.  So it's not as much what the team isn't doing.
  Yes, he's not getting as many touches, but when you're averaging 3.6 yards per carry (compared to 4.4 yds/carry in '06), it means that you're dealing with defensive tackles too often and not linebackers.  That failure to allow Jackson to get to the second line of defense rests on the shoulders of the O-line, not the coaching.

You'll find my answers to his questions over at Turf Show Timse along with this Q&A back and forth between VanRam and Jason La Canfora; good reading.

The line opened at 14 points in favor of Washington and has shifted down to as low as 13 but typically somewhere in the 13.5 range. Which just so happens to be, I'm told by Bodog, the current over/under on the Redskins turnovers in the entire 2008 NFL season. Last year it was 29.

Oh happy day.

I much prefer getting these out immediately following a game's end as the results are fresh in my mind. Too bad. Anyways, here are my brief thoughts from the game yesterday, enjoy or don't. As always, I use only my eyes to evaluate a game and have no special monopoly on interesting commentary on the results. Reader(s) are encouraged to post their own thoughts. Lots of great commentary over at Blogging The Boys, Grizz covers the Xs and Os much better than me so you might stop by over there.

• Cliches were the name of the game. All those things talking heads love to discuss that allegedly good teams do so well... we did so well. Starting with: Stop the run. Their explanation for why they abandoned the run so early are baffling but entertaining:

"It wasn't hard to run the ball against them," guard Leonard Davis said. "We had a game plan based on the looks they were giving us, and that dictated we stick with the passing game."

Mr. Davis is entitled to his own opinion but not his own facts. You can say "it wasn't hard to run the ball against" the Redskins if and only if you... ran the ball against the Redskins. What that doesn't look like is 11 carries for 44 yards. Marion Barber had 8 touches for 26 yards -- 2. 3 something yards per carry -- and Felix Jones had zero carries. Barber had 15 of those yards on one carry, which should tell you how good the other 7 were. The last drive of the game the Cowboys ran the ball to Barber more than once was their first of the 3rd quarter. Result was a touchdown. I have no explanation for why they so willingly gave up on the run, but it wasn't working even before they did, whatever Davis has to say about it.

• Cliches continue: Run the ball well. Final damage was 161 ground yards for 4.4 yards per carry, highlighted by a monster game from Clinton Portis for 121 yards on 21 carries (5.76 YPC). This is the kind of drive that would give die hard old school coaches orgasms:

When this drive begins, the Redskins are up by one touchdown and there's a whole lot of game left. When it ends, seven minutes later, the Redskins are up by two possessions and that's all she wrote.

• Give your secondary a round of applause. If you had told me, prior to the game, that the Redskins would have zero sacks and still win, I'd have laughed. Shawn Springs had what we might colloquially refer to as a "statement game" that statement being: I am a bad ass shutdown corner and I piss excellence routinely. Terrell Owens was silenced by Springs in the first quarter, who did exactly as I'd asked by painting himself all over T.O. The final damage from Owens was 71 yards and a touchdown (12 of which came against prevent defense at the end of the game), not a bad day by most measures, unless you consider that he was targeted 17 or 18 times on the day. He did not have a 20 yard reception. There are no easy solutions to a player as good as Terrell Owens unless you have an incredible player to line up against him, and we do. Shawn Springs is incredible. Anyone who doubts how important he is to this defense has just to recall the horrible shit storm that was 2006 and realize he was the missing link. It wasn't the presence of Adam Archuleta (which we fixed) but rather the absence of Springs for much of the year that did us in. He is the most talented player on the defense. (Fred Smoot you played great, too.)
  
• Rest of the guys played great too. Carlos Rogers was good and bad but not so much of the latter to make me wince. Chris Horton had the pick and continues to find the ball, making him cliche numero tres: "playmaker". Marcus Washington got beat by miles on the Jason Witten touchdown but besides that the linebackers played ok. Witten had a big game but the reality is you can't stop all the people on the Cowboys offense. You shut down Owens (relatively speaking) and Marion Barber and Felix Jones -- not necessarily by anything we did, mind you -- and you've got a good chance to beat them. We beat them.
• So a crazy thing happened. Doghouse Durant Brooks is insecure about his job security, shows up in someone else's house against probably the best punter in the NFL, and outplays Mat McBriar. Final damage was: Brooks 4 punts for 42.8 yards average with two touchbacks, long of 60. McBriar: 6 punts, 39 yards average, only one touchback, 59 long. Welcome to the team, rook.
• What a toolbox this guy Skin Patrol is going to spend all this recap talking about the punter and kicker? You bet I am. You beat the Cowboys by 2 points on the road and it all comes down to: If Suisham misses one of those four kicks we lose. You can have this phenomenally played game otherwise that hinges on whether Suisham is going to go 4/4. His kickoffs were good too.
• ALL HAIL SPECIAL TEAMS I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT. Kick and punt coverage units were both flawless. Pacman Jones returned three punts for an average of 4 yards. Felix Jones averaged 13 yards per return on kickoffs. Underewoks need to find ways to win and winning on special teams is how you go about doing that.
• Jason Campbell is the quarterback of the future. He will no doubt stumble at some point in the future and throw an interception. He is not without flaws, he is simply playing that way through 1/4th of the season. Having said that, I'm a believer, I've seen enough, Jason Campbell has what it takes to lead this team to sustained success for the foreseeable future. And he's playing well because he cliche alert protects the football. This time last year he would've fumbled the ball six times and lost it seven (check my math on that). We all speculated that Jim Zorn would be great for Campbell, indeed that was the only aspect of Zorn that few of us wondered about, and it's been true. Joe Gibbs placed a huge emphasis on protecting the football but it has been his successor who has somehow convinced this team not to fumble or give away the ball. He's completing 67% of his passes. NFL, you're on notice.
• Also on notice regarding our head coach, who is as real a deal as anyone right now. No offense to the past, this wasn't a Monday Night Miracle. Jim Zorn went into the devil's house and beat them without theatrics or requisite belief in unlikelihoods. This wasn't a game dominated by the loser for all but one quarter. Coach Zorn found a way to get the most out of his players at a time when the rest of the world was expecting the least out of them, and for that he should get 10 strong Hail To The Redskins. I saw him doing hip hip hoorays or some other nonsense after the game. As lame as a hip hip hooray is, I don't care what he says so long as we win.
• And we did win how 'bout that.
• Santana Moss eleventy four million yards on 8 catches bla bla bla this thing can't go on forever. I'd go line item down our roster praising the team because so many people did so many of the little and big things right for us to win this game. This was huge on so many levels, I'm really speechless. I am without speech.

Someone save me here in the comments section, my fingers hurt.

If you've been reading the Post or the Times or anywhere else on the internet regarding the game, you've no doubt heard that Jim Zorn is something like the first Redskins coach since Jack Pardee (or something -- by the way this isn't necessarily that great, Pardee beat the Cowboys in his first season on his way towards a 6-0 start that ultimately saw us finishing 8-8, total collapse) to beat the Cowboys in his first go around. I don't know if that's true, I've just read it six or seven times now. Zorn will also be the only coach to never get defeated at Texas Stadium barring, obviously, those Redskins coaches who never had games there. That's all great stuff and will remain true even if we roll through Dallas come the playoffs.

More importantly, though, he is speaking some pretty mighty motivation per Chris Cooley:

The night before the game we talked about two things. The first point was that it was going to take an unbelievable effort by everyone to win the game. Z talked about "jumping off." He's reading a book about Kit Carson and his trip from Missouri to New Mexico in the early 1800's. When someone decided to leave Missouri for further west they were jumping off. This was crazy dangerous and took a huge leap of faith and commitment. I know it sounds way corny and it did to us the night before the game, but if you think about it, it was relevant to our situation. Jump off to beat the Cowboys.

It is horribly corny but, really, nothing is corny after you upset an 11 point favorite in their hood. He could've said "Go out there and do it for the Carebears, guys" and, assuming they win the football game, he's said all the right things. Whatever coaxes strong play out of Your Washington Redskins is fine by me. Adds Cooley:

Maybe Z is the pep talk expert. I mean, before the New Orleans game the topic was "be excellent." A line from George Carlin in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

No way!

Yes way. Jim Zorn and I are moved by the same movies. I should totally be coaching, bra.

(ALSO: Peter King thinks Jim Zorn is currently Coach of the Year:

Coach of the Year: Jim Zorn, Washington. Think back to when he was picked. "Snyder's a loon!'' you thought. Well, you might still think that, but you can't argue with the results. For the first time in four years, Campbell finally looks like the long-term answer at quarterback, and Zorn's tutelage is a big reason. For the second time in 11 years, Washington won at Dallas. And for the first time in ages, Washingtonians aren't looking for Joe Gibbs to ride in on his white horse to save the season.

That is all.)

Quick thoughts from the game, before I go to enjoy the rest of my Sunday.

• Just looking over the boxscore, the stats don't show any great disparity between two teams, except: Turnovers Cardinals 2 Redskins 0. That will do it as often as not if you aren't dramatically outplayed by the other team, and we were not dramatically outplayed by the other team.
• Where did we lose? They managed 5 yards per carry on the game. We had absolutely no answer against the run in the first half, though did a lot better in the second half, I felt (although I'd need to go back and look to see if there's any truth in that). The easiest way to take the running game out of the picture is to have a lead late in the game. We did that.
• Jason Campbell was strong, 23/31 for 193 yards and 2 touchdowns (to Moss and Todd Yoder). No big mistakes besides the lay down, but you try standing up when Casey Rabach puts his foot on your ankle. Campbell went out there and took what the defense gave him and could've had a much better game statistically, if not for...
• Thrilled that you're ok Stephon Heyer. Not so pleased with the unnecessary roughness penalty.
• Devin Thomas, welcome to the Redskins. Your stat line may be unimpressive (1 rush for 16 yards on a nice end around, 2 receptions for 7 yards, targeted a few times early as well) but it would've been so much nicer had you gotten that eleventy million yard reception negated by penalty. You need to discuss the matter with Stephon Heyer, rook.
• Carlos Rogers... with an interception? And not a shabby one; after a heads up play by Leigh Torrence in which he used his helmet to divert the ball's path, Rogers dives for the pick, then gets up, dusts himself off, and runs for 42 yards. That ultimately sets up the game winning score by Santana Moss on a 17 yard reception.
• Friend called, he has Santana Moss on his fantasy team. Guy is a producer.
• Penalties are stupid, both teams are stupid. 6-42 yards for Arizona, 7-67 on us. They did most of their damage on special teams, we did a lot of ours everywhich way. As much as I liked Devin Thomas making the big play (though called back), I hated his two offensive pass interference penalties. No doubt Big 10 fans of teams not called Michigan State will wonder whether he got away with much grabby grabby in College. (Settle down, I mean on the field.)
  
• Anyone else see Antwaan Randle El's stat line as an NFL quarterback passer? Uhhhh. We should run an ARE pass play every game.
• Ben won't like it but I want more Santana Moss fielding punts. Randle El only had an opportunity to return one but, ever consistent, only managed 6 yards, something like 15 if you counted the horizontal yards.
• I agree with Moose (WHAT?) that Durant Brooks didn't appear to screw up the hold on Suisham's missed FG. What was Zorn so pissed off about?
• 4.4 yards per carry is good, but better was Clinton Portis getting the yards when it mattered, closing out the game with a big first down run late in the 4th quarter. Betts likewise looked sharp (5.8 YPC but on just four carries).
• Chris Cooley Chris Cooley Chris Cooley Chris Cooley Chris Cooley.

This team scares me a lot in some areas but I don't want to dwell on the negative after a 7 point, should've been 14 point win. Offense looks miles ahead of where it was in week one and, in spite of some minor hiccups on defense, we're playing pretty solid on both sides of the ball, at least this week. HAIL TO THE REDSKINS.

Some bad news: Looks like the Giants will beat the Bengals in overtime.

Maybe TexSkins will treat you to some recap action too.

Back to actual (rather than theoretical) football. My sincerest apologies for selfishly not posting much besides this massive nerdfest. I write a near 5,000 word essay on the two point conversion and the extra point and, typically, think it's more interesting than it is. I just couldn't bring myself to bump it.

Fortunately I am bringing to you someone who is knowledgeable about actual football in particular his Arizona Cardinals. cgolden of Revenge of the Birds graciously agreed to exchange content for the upcoming game. This will be a nice change of pace from the typical 5 Questions, as cgolden suggested we do key matchups and I feel the format worked out quite well. He also just posted a helpful injury summary for the upcoming game here. I steal stuff:

Washington Redskins: The Skins have a few more players dinged up with London Fletcher (rib) and Marcus Washington (hamstring), Carlos Rogers (groin) and Jason Taylor (knee) limited in practice. Malcolm Kelly (ankle) and James Thrash (ankle), H.B. Blades (knee) and Fred Smoot (hip), did not practice but most are still expected to play this Sunday. 

He is good at blogging.

Enjoy this:

Match-up #1: Redskins secondary vs. Cardinals WRs

Master of Universe: Advantage: Cardinals - No shame in admitting that there's no good way to deal with Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. Last week: 12 receptions, 293 yards, 3 touchdowns. Shawn Springs I don't worry so much about, but this is way above Carlos Rogers' pay grade. The good news is rookie Chris Horton, who both looked phenomenal last week and may or may not retain the starting position vacated briefly by a sick Reed Doughty [ED NOTE: Ben says naw, he's usually righteous which is to say correct]. Boldin and Fitzgerald, at least in this young season, are very much playing two impossibly difficult to cover roles. Boldin, despite being the shorter of the two, plays the reliable favored son, who moves chains at will. His three touchdowns are tops in the league and his impossibly high 78+% 1st down catch rate is about as high as anyone else. Fitzgerald, as stated, is a physical monster but somehow also is the speed demon get behind you receiver. His 20.4 YPC is remarkable, especially when one considers he's done most of it on 20-40 yard receptions, meaning he's consistently down the field catching footballs. Four of his nine receptions were +20 yards.

Merely extremely talented Cardinal blogger who knows much (more than I) about football but has yet to master universe: Advantage: Cardinals - I don't know that there's a secondary in this league that I'd say had an advantage over Boldin, Fitzgerald and company, but I will say that I had to at least think about this one. Shawn Springs may not be what he once was but when he's paired with Carlos Rogers and Fred Smoot, you've got a solid trio of corner backs. When you add in one of the best young safeties in the league, LaRon Landry and rookie Chris Horton who had a great game last week, they're a formidable secondary. As solid as a secondary may be though when Warner is playing like he has the past two games and Fitzgerald and Boldin are catching everything in sight, the passing game is hard to contain.

Match-up #2: Redskins pass rush vs. Cardinals offensive line

Hogs Haven: Advantage: Redskins - I don't know enough about the Cardinals offensive line to really comment, so I'll just rant on the Redskins. At four sacks the 'Skins are good but not great so far. Jason Taylor is a big name with one sack so far, which is again, good but not great. Andre Carter and Cornelius Griffin round out a solid unit with the combo of Golston/Montgomery closing it out. As I'm of the opinion that Montgomery is probably the most underrated lineman on the team, I feel good at all positions. That said, who knows to what degree these guys remain healthy (or healthy enough; Taylor isn't long removed from injury)? This front downgrades subtantially when Demetric Evans is in for either Taylor or Carter. The emphasis will be the pass rush, since the Cardinals haven't looked so hot running the ball thus far.

cgolden: Advantage: Redskins - The Redskins have some formidable edge pass rushers in Jason Taylor and Andre Carter and Cornelius Griffin has been decent at providing some pressure up the middle. The turning point of this game could be whether or not the Skins are able to put pressure on Warner with their front four or if they'll have to blitz to get in his face. The Dolphins tried to blitz last week and they got burned numerous times. Warner is very capable of recognizing the blitz and standing in the pocket just long enough to deliver the pass. If Taylor and Carter are able to be get around Levi Brown and Mike Gandy, if could be a long day for the Cards.

Match-up #3: Redskins receivers vs. Cardinals secondary

Hogs Haven: Advantage: Unknown - We've been simultaneously blessed and cursed with receivers in Washington. In 2005 Santana Moss put together one of the best receiving performances in the history of the franchise. In 2007 it took us like 10 weeks to get a receiver with a touchdown. Antwaan Randle El has developed much as a receiver over the past few years even as he's totally forgotten how to return punts. The real question is who plays that #3 spot, and we've got a pair of rookies dueling with James Thrash for that right. I have to think the rookies are better in the long run but, so far, due to injury and Thomas and Kelly halfassing it apparently, Thrash is the guy. Chris Cooley should be the gameplan focus of the Cardinals. The Cardinals' pass defense is playing very well so far, although I don't know how much of that is due exclusively to their secondary. In any event, because the Redskins' receivers --passing game in general-- are so Jekyll and Hyde, there's no telling how this one plays out.

CG: Advantage: Redskins - This is a tough match-up to judge because the Cardinals corner backs haven't been tested much this season, but Santana Moss, Antwaan Randle El and company should be a nice measuring stick. If Jason Campbell looks like the quarterback of week 2 instead of week 1, the Skins might be able to stretch the field and open up the underneath for Chris Cooley. The Cardinals secondary isn't star studded but they do have some talent and depth. Adrian Wilson and Karlos Dansby will likely be relied upon to limit Chris Cooley while Antrel Rolle will have to keep Moss from getting deep. If Campbell has time in the pocket, they've got enough weapons to give the Cardinals some problems.

Match-up #4: Cardinals pass rush vs. Redskins OL

Hogs Haven: Advantage: Redskins - I was terrified of our O-Line coming into the season with Jansen who, for many years was painted on our starting roster, lost his job to Stephon Heyer. He looked shaky, if only briefly, in our first game. But this O-Line is playing good football, having given up just three sacks, which is very above average especially having played the Giants (though they were limited by injury). In pass protection I'm more worried about Campbell holding on to the ball too long than I am them not giving him the time to make plays down the field. Our yards per carry (4.2) is good, nothing special, but we've done it without breaking big runs. Our running game and Arizona's running defense meet halfway, although they're a little better so far. The fun thing to watch will be their pass rush, which has generated 6 sacks and probably accounted for much of their success against the pass so far. I worry about the blitz, but the Cardinals will find that Clinton Portis is one of the best blitz pick up backs in the league. Someone will be eaten, mark my words.

CG: Advantage: Cardinals - The Redskins only gave up one sack to the Giants in week one but they really haven't faced a team that blitzes as much as the Cardinals yet. The Cardinals pulled back the intensity last week once they jumped out by three scores, but they put constant pressure on the Niners in week 1. The Skins line is full of experienced veterans but the Cardinals will be coming from every direction on Sunday. Clancy Pendergast has a plethora of pass rushers and he's had some creative ways of getting them all on the field in various situations. Campbell will have to keep his head on a swivel and make sure that he gets rid of the ball quickly.

You should definitely check out his post because he has like pictures imbedded comfortably into the side of his content. It's amazing. And they are topical. When they was picking people to run websites on this network, reader(s) here definitely got jobbed.

Regarding the Cardinals, this ain't your daddy's team (which is to say, this isn't the team we've beaten 62% of the time in like 120 games -- did you know the Cardinals have scored 2,206 points against us? WTF, mate?) now sitting 2-0 atop the weakest division in football. While I'm unwilling to admit the Cards have been tested, they've done what good teams are supposed to do against bad teams which is: win convincingly. Their DVOA is strong.

Just got off the phone with a friend (who is tortured over which two of Chad Johnson, Steve Smith, and Santana Moss to start) and the meme was that I had no useful information to provide regarding Mos because: The Cardinals are a team I don't know much about and indeed not much is to be known about them given their schedule thus far. This is a good team that has beaten two historically (don't take that term too literally) bad teams. I believe it is a good defense but don't know for sure.

Will soon.

First off, big won for the team on Sunday. Zorn got in the win column, and the Skins will stay withing a game of the NFC East leaders. The Giants are 2-0 and whoever wins tonight's big Eagles-Cowboys game will be as well.

Consider this your Monday night open thread.

Also, feel free to post anything from the NFL this weekend. So, I guess consider this your one big open thread for all things NFL.

Two things before I get ready for Bocephus and Co. One, this story is pretty funny. Everyone favorite Redskin blogger, Chris Cooley, posted a picture on his website prior to Sunday's game. I can't think of any better way to introduce it than to steal a bit of the article:

Cooley wanted to show the readers of his popular blog some of the study materials the players were given by coach Jim Zorn.

Cooley, however, was studying in the nude, and he didn’t examine his photo closely before posting it.

Read Cooley's response here. The title of the post: "We're Dumb." Classic.

Also, there was a controversial call in the DEN-SD game. For those of you who didn't see the game (or the 9,000 replays on ESPN and other such channels), DEN QB Jay Cutler, while attempting to throw a pass, fumbled the ball. It was a classic example of the now infamous "empty hand" rule (kissing cousins of the "tuck" rule) but Referee Ed Hochuli blew the play dead before the fumble was recovered. Now, he will apparently get "graded down," whatever that means. I really like Hochuli (in related news, so does my girlfriend, but for different reasons... like tight fitting referee jerseys) and hate to see him punished because the NFL has a fascination with protecting the quarterback. He was even man enough to admit his mistake to head coach Norval Turner during the game. Mistakes happen, it just sucks that one of the NFL's best referees will suffer the consequences.

P.S. earlier in the game, there was a replay malfunction that went against the Chargers. Norval did not have a good day.

Comments on these issues and all theings NFL welcome. Other than that, get ready for a good ol' fashioned barn burner down here in Texas. Anyone else hoping for a 59-59 tie?

The Washington Times and the Washington Post are like divorced parents who I don't know who to talk to when I want something for fear of distressing the other. I have no sources except those readily available to reader(s), among two of my favorites being Redskins Insider (Post) and Redskins 360 (Times). The two entities frequently report on the same things so I'm always weary of giving both the face time they deserve. I assume there's some kind of professional contentiousness betwixt the two, but know newspapers, I love you both equally.

Redskins Insider:

Jason La Canfora reports that Chris Cooley is not taking part in practice; we'll see what Jim Zorn says about that later today. ...

Redskins 360 on the culprit:

Tight end Chris Cooley missed the first practice of his five-year career after injuring a quad this morning.

Article also notes a knee injury to Jason Taylor, though I know nothing of that for now.

Cool Chris has missed not a game since joining the team in 2004 and just seven starts his rookie season. Since the tail end of 2004 he's been as permanent and consistent an installment on our offense as anyone remaining on the roster. The reality is though, that while he might be immune to "dipshittedness" he isn't immune to injury. No one. Besides London Fletcher.

One of many good things about Fred Davis is, although we're better with Cooley than without, I think we'll manage fine for a few games should Cooley need some rest.

He should not have picked Dallas.

Anyways, my favorite player is a bit banged up and I hope someone keeps the website posted with updates on his statuts in the FanPosts, as I'll be driving much of today and incognito tomorrow, returning sometime Friday. The crazies have control of the asylum until then.

[Note by Skin Patrol, 09/04/08 2:37 PM EDT ] Ahhh frustration. I just found out KSK beat me to this story by a few hours and then I went at made a long post about it without mentioning them. I hate it when this happens. HERE IS THE LINK. HERE IS A QUOTE: "Throw in the delightful trio of Mercedes Lindsay, Christy Cooley, and the kicker’s piece of ass and you pretty much have the perfect draft. Sure Santana Moss and the ladies’ team is a bit slow at times, but they still bring more to the table than Shanoff."

Fantasy Football is a social and cultural disaster. Once upon a time people sat around watching a football game like good partisans, cheering on one team or the other either because of loyalty or because their mortgage payment depended on the outcome. When I was balls deep in Fantasy Football it wasn't uncommon to hear me say things like:

"I really hope that New England doesn't score here because, if they do, Philly, my defense, will suffer. But if New England does score, let it be Wes Welker because he's a Red Raider!!! because he's on my fantasy team. But my opponent has Tom Brady, so I'd prefer it be on some kind of strange halfback pass or reverse or something. Also if the Patriots don't score, it would be better if they kicked a field goal, because I've got their kicker. Wait, now I'm confused."

That can't be the way God intended people to watch football. Two teams lineup. What is good is what happens in team 1's favor, what is bad is what happens in team 2's favor. That's easy enough.

Having said all that, I've played fantasy football annually for the past decade, barring last year, and recently completed the Hogs Haven Fantasy League Draft. My team is really totally sweet, as I based my picks in large part on Football Outsider's Pro Football Prospectus fantasy rankings, which I think are called KUBIAK or something. It's probably the greatest fantasy team ever.

While we're on the "greatest ever" subject, direct your eyes to this video (hat tip: Extreme Skins) from Chris Cooley's Blog. There isn't anything interesting I can add to preface the video that will make it more entertaining, but cliff notes is basically Cooley got a bunch of his teammates (Fred Smoot, Reed Doughty, Shaun Suisham, Jason Campbell, Santana Moss, Colt Brennan, Mike Sellers, Fred Davis, Cooley's wife and Campbell's girlfriend who are teammates in spirit, etc.). I'll give you two highlights, though just because they are both Cooley, don't think he stole the show. Because Fred Smoot stole the show.

Chris Cooley: You've got 10 seconds Colt.

Colt Brennan: Let's go with, uhhh, Lendale White.

Chris Cooley: Yaaay that's a gaaay pick.

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Chris Cooley: I'm gonna go with. Jason. Campbell.

Chris Cooley later, privately: I feel like I had to pick my own teammate. I picked Jason Campbell pretty early...

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The whole video is hysterical, very well done, and renews my faith in this social and cultural disaster we call Fantasy Football. Boom (click below to watch):

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