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Yes, It IS "Soccer". No, Its NOT "Hand Egg". The definitive explanation of "Why you guys call it that".

With the majority of America's recent focus on the rest of the world's favorite sport, the biggest debate you find online isn't about our strategy or our chances. Its "why don't you call it football, like everyone else?". So, here's a story.

A long time ago, people in England played a game called football. Actually, they played five or six different games called football, but we're only going to talk about one or two.

In the first style of game, a bunch of people kicked a ball up and down a grass field, trying to get close enough to kick the ball into the other team's net. This game was pretty popular and... I guess it still is.

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Meanwhile, out in some town in the West-Midlands (not to be confused with the American Mid-West) a bunch of kids at boarding school had their own version of the game. Since it was a kind of blue collar place, the kids liked their game a little more physical. (Ok, go ahead and confuse it with the Midwest). In their game you kicked the ball through standing goal posts, and you could do whatever it took to get the ball within range. (Pick it up, run with it, body slam people, etc). The town and the school were both named "Rugby" so the game became "Rugby football".

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years later when Rugby football, made it to America, the Americans did the two things we do best, experimenting with things and finding ways to cheat.

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First we experimented with ditching the scrum in rugby. We decided, why not just let one guy push the ball directly to his team. This became "the snap". Almost immediately schools like Yale and Princeton started exploiting this rule. (The Patriots of the 19th century, making cheating a New England tradition)

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They realized after you score once, you could snap the ball, then just block the other team away from it all game. You wouldn't score again, but neither would they, and you could win every game 1-0. These near scoreless games were as pointless as they were boring to watch. Kind of like the Buccaneers.

So a guy named Walter Camp pulled a 19th century "Rodger Goodell" and said

"Ok, new rule. If you don't move the ball forward at least 5 yards every 3 plays, you lose the ball."

And, the first down was born.

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They eventually changed it to 10 yards, because at every 5 yards, Laron's biceps would have gotten really tired...

To keep track of those yards, they painted lines up and down the field, which made the field look like a giant cooking rack, and the game became known as "gridiron football".

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Yes, sitting here would still be less dangerous than sitting in the old Eagles stadium

In the end all three versions still focused primarily on scoring points by kicking a ball into the other team's goal, so they were all "Foot Ball".

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Yes, primarily. Back then, kicking was the main (or only) way to score. In the American style, you got full point for kicking a goal from the field (a "field goal") and (later added) 1/4 of a point, for touching the ball on the ground in the other end zone (a "touchdown").

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Plus you got an extra kick attempt (which is why we still kick the extra point today). This idea came from Rugby, where getting the ball into the endzone wasn't worth points, but it did earn you one free kicking attempt at their goal. Thus why Rugby still calls it "scoring a Try".

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It was much later when Rugby and Gridiron realized that fighting your way into the endzone was fun, so they adjusted the scoring systems to encourage it.

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So, now you had Gridiron football, Rugby football, and the official form, which followed the rules of the English Football Association, "Association Football". Since "assSOCiation" is bit of a mouthful, they shortened it to "SOCcer football".

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See, people are mad at us for it, but its an English creation. This feels just like Coldplay all over again.

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Since all these names still felt longer than Payton Manning's forehead, everyone dropped the word they thought was unnecessary. In the UK, "soccer" became unnecessary, because, "what other football would you be talking about?"

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While in the US, "gridiron" became the unnecessary word, and "soccer football" dropped to just soccer.

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Stoppage time...

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"Well, its still hand egg. That thing isn't shaped like a ball".

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Oh, but it is. A "ball" doesn't have to be round. In fact, the word "ball" comes from the old Germanic "bollr" and/or Latin "foll" both of which were words for something that was inflated or blown up, not necessarily something round.

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and there you go. My last comments on the game of Soccer Football for the next few years. (You're welcome SkinsNJ)

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In the meantime, admit it. Wasn't this a better topic than that other name debate?

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