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Absolutely, Positively NOTHING to do with football. At all.


Like a strong dagger it knifes at whatever is in reach. As it stands tall, away from its rightful place, its very being seems to laugh at me. It is a rebel; a rogue entity; intent on making a mockery of all that represents order. No longer able to withstand the treacherous torment it is intent to bestow upon me, I seek a weapon which I may use to strike back at this evil creature whose mere existence poses a threat to my very sanity. Ah, I have found it, the perfect tool for the adventurous task at hand. I must be patient, for the slightest slip in movement could destroy my entire mission. If I am not precise in my actions, it could lead to my undoing. The time finally at hand, I make my move. With the poise of a bird of prey and the stealth of a cat, I initiate my attack. I bear my weapon down upon my enemy and in one swipe, it is defeated. As I let it fall to the ground, I shout a cry of victory. With both hands in the air, I wave my weapon in triumph. As I lay my weapon back in its case after a job well done, I gasp a sigh of relief. I can finally go to sleep without worrying about being scratched by that damn broken fingernail.

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