It's almost opening day for the Washington Redskins, and I have to say guys and gals,I'm PUMPED! I'm so hyped I could jump a fence and fight every...um...let's just say I'm excited. I'm as excited as Riley Cooper at an Ann Coulter book signing catered by Paula Deen.
It was opening day last year when we were first blessed with the greatness of RGIII. His first NFL touchdown pass spawned the iconic "Griffining" pose, the one where he's sitting on the ground with both hands in the air. Of course the only time a Vick has two hands in the air is when a cop is telling Marcus to "walk backwards and drop the weapon" in a Burger King parking lot.
They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. If that's the case the Eagles must love the 2000's era Redskins. Let's see. Take a 10-6 team and add a bunch of defensive free agents? Check. Fail miserably? Check. Hire a college coach with a bullshit offense doomed to crap their cargo shorts? Double check. And the Eagles fans are either too high on Yuengling and Percocet or too busy jerking off to Chip Kelly's double stack formations to see the years of misery coming their way.
Nobody deserves this fate more than Eagles fans. They hate their greatest coach and quarterback more than anyone on the planet. When Redskins fans went through tough times we could always look back to The Hogs, Art Monk and John Riggins on 4th and 1. That was our glory. Donovan McNabb vomiting during the Super Bowl is the mountain top for Eagles fans. That's as good as it's gonna get...for a long time.
Eagles fans are fooling themselves if they think a convicted felon throwing to Governor George Wallace and Lil' Romeo is a recipe for good offense. The only 'positives' on this team are when Mike Vick and LeSean McCoy get their tests back at the free health clinic.
What Eagles fans are saying
In reality the Redskins are going to dominate this game. Alfred Morris is going to run for Mike Vick's credit score, about 150. RGIII is going to evade pass rushers like LeSean McCoy evades his baby mama. Redskins win 38-13.