Redskins Preseason Games Storylines to Hype Everyone Up

Grant Halverson

The Redskins 2013 pre-season schedule was announced last week and since the Redskins' opponents are now known, here are some likely and unlikely storylines entering the month of August vs the Titans, Steelers, Bills, and Bucs.

As training camp approaches, the questions regarding RGIII's week 1 availability and knee status will undoubtedly reach unbearable status. I don't mean "unbearable" as riding the Metro during rush hour with the A/C broken, or unbearable in relation to the food lines at Nats Park. I mean unbearable like what Kim Kardashian is to news outlets. Even though I completely shut out everything regarding that woman, her life updates are inescapable. It's going to be that bad with RGIII, so take whatever precautions you need to deal with. The water cooler at work, strangers at bars, the homeless guy that needs just 25 cents to get his Greyhound bus home...RGIII's health will be omnipresent. I just ordered a life-sized punching bag of Ken Meringolo wearing a Jason Witten jersey, so that will do just fine for me. Hopefully Tim Tebow's dating interest leaks in August so ESPN and PFT can feed on that.

So, let's talk Redskins and some story-lines going into the August games:

Preseason Games

Storylines

@ Titans

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The Epic QB Battle: The 4th round backup, Kirk Cousins, versus the 1st round QB, Jake Locker. In October of 2012, much of the talk was if Jake Locker should be benched for Matt Hasselbeck. I'm so glad we don't have that problem any more. Quality Quarterbacks drafted after Jake Locker in the 2011 draft: Christian Ponder, Andy Dalton, Colin Kaepernick, and Ryan Mallett. (golf clap for Tennessee).

Alumni Redskins Defensive Coaches REUNITE!!!: The Titans current defensive coordinator is former Redskins secondary coach, Jerry Gray. The Titans defense allowed a NFL worst 471 points last season (29.4 game). That should all change now that they hired former Defensive Coordinator, Gregg Williams, as a consultant. Hugs all around for London Fletcher.

Recent Preseason History: Redskins are 4-0 all time vs Titans in pre-season games.

Prediction: Redskins 57, Titans 0.

STEELERS

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Monday Night Football - Steelers at Redskins returns. Last time this happened, MNF was a regular season game and Fedex was a sea of terrible towels as part of an embarrassing 23-6 loss. Perhaps the Redskins can get in front of this now and announce they will be handing out Bank of America gold towels to support the Redskins. It's not yellow...it's gold. It's way different!!

Rex Grossman vs Brad Gradkowsi - The fact that both of these guys are still in the league makes me think I should try out for the Jags or something. Either way, I look forward to the "R-G-3" chants all game even though Bob will be on the sidelines in his Adidas track suit.

Danny Smith Returns to D.C. - Something is bound to happen in this game with Special Teams. Either Richard Crawford takes a KR to the house, where all of Redskins Nation simultaneously tweets: "THAT'S WHY BRANDON BANKS SUCKS DANNY!"...or...on the opening kickoff, three Redskins streakers run into each other and some KR for the Steelers we've never heard of is doing the Dougie 103 yards later.

The Man we Love to Hate, Shaun Suisham - I had the fortune of interviewing practically every Redskin throughout the two years of the Zorn era and Shaun Suisham is easily in the top three of the nicest players I have ever met. Kickers get a bad rap in D.C....we always have to be hating on someone (Tag...you're it Tyler Polumbus!)....but when Suisham bricks a 33-yard FG off the upright, we can all crack a smile.

Recent Preseason History: Redskins have won 8 of their last 9 games.

Prediction: Kai Forbath goes 7-7 and the Redskins win 21-3. Bruce Gradkowski endures a 4,132nd knee injury and vows to be back next week. The Jaguars inquire.

BILLS

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STARTERS PLAY 3 QUARTERS: Will RGIII get a series? Will he? Tell us Shanahan already!!! Either way, I cannot think of a better matchup for the Redskins defense to build confidence. Throughout this game, the Bills will trot out some combination of Kevin "corn on the" Kolb, Tavaris Jackson, and Aaron Corp (who?). Kolb could get nothing done with Larry Fitzgerald as his WR, although, his TD/INT ratio was 8/3 last year, so there's something to hang your hat on Bills' fans.

BiLoLs Coaching Staff: The Bills fired Chan Gailey and made Doug Marrone their skipper. This is his first gig as a NFL coach having head coached Syracuse the last four years. Former Redskins WR Coach, Ike Hilliard, maintains his same role with the Bills.

Recent Preseason History: Redskins have won their last four vs the Bills.

Prediction: Redskins 64, Bills -2....Kerrakpo with 8.5 sacks.

@Buccaneers

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I've contacted Fox5 DC to have all the syndicated Simpsons episodes this week show Bart Simpson write on the chalk board "Mike Alstott did not cross the goal line...Mike Alstott did not cross the goal line.."

More questions all week: Will RGIII see a series? Will he? Will he, Coach?

Defense Break: The Bucs have some ballers who will all be in street clothes: Dashon Goldson, Mark Barron, Adrian Clayborn, and Gerald McCoy to name a few. Russ Grimm's son, Cody, will be out there though.

Backup QBs Galore? This might be difficult. The Bucs currently have only two QBs on their roster: Josh Freeman and Adam Weber (who?). John Beck is a free agent, Tampa. Get it done.

Raheem Morris/Bruce Allen: We won't be able to escape this connection for awhile. Tanard Jackson is suspended into August and there's no oil left in that Tampa well to dip from.

Recent Preseason History: Redskins have won their last three vs the Bucs.

Prediction: Redskins 3, Bucs 2.

H/T to Redskins.com for the recent pre-season history.

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