Hating With H8 : New Orleans Edition

Is there a dirtier, sleazier or more corrupt city in the country than New Orleans?

New Orleans, Louisiana is so corrupt that the federal government had to take over their police force and essentially say, “Um guys…how about you stop shooting innocent black people in the middle of the street? Mmmmkay?.”

So it’s only fitting that the Saints (ironic) follow suit and get hammered for trying to kill Brett Favre. Memo to Saints : Favre will f*ck up a game on his own, no need to take him out.

But I guess that what happens when Gregg Williams moved to New Orleans. Something about that city told Gregg, “act like a corrupt dick and while you’re at it gain 300 pounds…so you fit in a little better around town.”

What the hell was Gregg doing in New Orleans? Skipping defensive meeting to stuff his face with Popeye’s? Mmmmmm it’s Louisiana Fat! Hell, even Gregg’s visor had to add a few notches.

I imagine him reporting late to the defensive meeting, wiping grease on his size 43 pants. “Uhhhh, alright guys, who do we got this week? Arizona? You know what, f*ck it, $15,000 to whoever knocks out Kurt Warner. I’m tired.”

Way to go Greggorry. Your fatness got coach Sean Payton suspended for the year, and now Saints fans are crying.

“Blooo-hooo-hooo-sniffle-bites into Popeye’s-bloo-hoo…it’s not fair!”

Now Payton is replaced by (alleged) vicodin-stealing crackhead Joe Vitt. Oh wait…he’s suspended too. So now the Saints are down to interin-interim-interim-interim-interim head coach Aaron Kromer? Never heard of him.

And I don’t feel bad at all for you fat, diabetic, alligator-eating, Honey Boo Boo looking Saints fans. All Saints fans are anyway are Cowboys fans that found a better bandwagon in 2009. I bet with Dallas winning last night they’re putting away their number 9 Brees jersey and looking through their FEMA trailer for their number 9 Romo. Disgusting.

I can’t wait for Hurricane RG3na to come to New Orleans and blow back the levee that’s holding Drew Brees’ hairline in place, leaving nothing but a skullet and a birthmark. You can’t run and hide in the Superdome this time New Orleans.

Come to think of it, the only good thing to ever come out of New Orleans is Juvenile’s “Back That Ass Up.”

So, my prediction for this week, set to the timeless club-banger:

Griffin bout to throw a pass yeah, you bad yeah

Making Vilma spend his cash yeah, on bounties yeah

Saints frown when he pass yeah, you mad yeah

Gon’ ride the Rolls Royster yeah, with that head

You could smoke or buy a bag yeah, with Freddy yeah

Garcon gon flash yeah, right past yeah

Griffin Big Tymer player yeah, pull the trigger yeah

A playa hata flippa yeah, Saints killa yeah

London slangin wood yeah, out the hood yeah

Let it be understood yeah, it’s all good yeah

Got a Shanny scheming large yeah, getting yards yeah

A smooth little back yeah, out Nebrask-yeah

Bout to catch a pass yeah, and kick that ass yeah

You claim you got Graham yeah, but he ain’t sh*t yeah

The Skins with the money yeah, don’t act funny yeah

Got Griffin and he runnin yeah, bout a hundred yeah

Skins you look good, bout to smack that ass up

Orakpo got the sack, won’t you back that ass up

Call me big Griffy when you back that ass up

Drew who is you playing with, back that ass up

31-27 Skins

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