The Sony Madden Lockout is crushing me. I know, I know...people keep telling me to switch to XBox 360 and be done with it. But what about my team? I can't just abandon my online franchise. It is Season 3 and the window for my team is RIGHT NOW. Sam Bradford has developed into a stud. C.J. Spiller is destroying it out of the backfield. Vontae Davis and Rolando McClain lead a ferocious defense and my offensive line is so good right now, I can't make it through an entire game without changing my shorts.

How many simultaneous lockouts can there possibly be to mess with dudes like me who just want the simple pleasure of running a franchise properly and enjoying the success that goes with it? I had the foresight to draft Rob Gronkowski AND Jermichael Finley and run a brilliant Double TE set that nobody can stop...except for hackers? I make the gutsy decision to roll with a defensive line rotation that goes Dan Williams, Joseph Linval, Terrence Cody and Roy Miller and in return I see my precious defensive line reduced to nothing but an impotent digital fantasy?

As usual, the fans are getting bent over by a lockout. I have never purchased anything on Playstation Network--to my knowledge. So there is no potential threat to my fortune of tens of dollars. In fact, at the age of 34, I have to be like twice as old as the average video gamer on the network, right? Hackers are smart...are they really going after a bunch of kiddies' allowances?

No.

I'll tell you who is behind this. The other members of my online league, in an attempt to keep my digital powerhouse off the field, have organized an international shutdown of Sony's servers. I just know it. There is no other logical explanation.