So ladies and gentlemen, it's week 17 in the NFL and our beloved Redskins are in all too familiar territory again. We're on our backs looking up at three football teams (just like Philly fans wives after two glasses of box wine.)
But take solace my friends, we have visitors this year. Andy Reid is paying us a visit, much like he does his crackhead sons in prison. So, let's be nice and welcome our new friends into our home.
First let me lay down some rules Philly fan, so there are no problems when you're here:
1. You and your girlfriend can't smoke your Marlboro Menthol Lights in the house.
2. If you spill your Yuengling, be nice and clean it up.
3. Your accent is really obnoxious, like REALLY obnoxious, so try not to talk so much.
Got it? Good.
Now here is the part where I make fun of you:
The Dream Team. I mean, this is too easy. The fucking Dream Team. Way to go Vince. I don't know what was dumber, Rex predicting a division title, or his long lost brother- from- another -mother equating Mike Vick, Cullen Jenkins and Jason Babin to the greatest Olympic basketball team ever.
I mean, I guess if you took the Dream Team (the actual Dream Team) now and let them play against the world's best basketball players then it would be comparable. I'm just imagining Ewing blowing his back out, Barkley vomiting on the floor after two minutes and Jordan just sitting down and counting cash. That's about what the Eagles looked like this year.
Didn't you idiots learn? Haven't you learned from the Skins not to do this? Asomugha...HA, Steve Smith...Good one, Ronnie Brown...more like Charlie Brown. It's like you watched us stick our finger in a socket for a decade and then said, "Hey, that looks like fun, let me give it a try."
So I welcome you Philadelphia, let me slide over on the couch and make room for you. And tell your stripper girlfriend to quit looking at me, I don't have any cocaine to trade her for her "services", plus I'm not sure if that thing on her lip is where you punched her or a cold sore.
I've had fun this year Philly, watching you implode and there is nothing you can do about it.
Well, I'll see you next year my friend to the north.
iH8's final final score prediction of 2011 : Redskins 31 Eagles 23
Suck on that you miserable bastards.